Relationship advice
I am 27M and my gf is 25F and we have been dating for 5 months now. Before starting to date we became good friends with no intention of dating each other but then she started having feelings for me and finally we started dating. We were having very good conversations in the beginning and then it started to fade away. She just says no to everything I propose for instance a day trip, swimming, ice skating etc etc. In the beginning i found it annoying but finally i came to realize she just wants to play hard to get.
The reason of our first major argument was probably very silly. My friend who also know my gf and they get along well asked me to go for ice skating. I asked my gf and she responded, she doesn’t know, maybe not. Now i could have asked her again and beg but it just turned my mood off so i changed the topic. Next day my friend asked me if my gf is coming or not i jokingly said ask her maybe she will listen to you. When he asked she said yes immediately but then she realized, oops that was too quick so she told my friend to ask me first. Anyways, i went with her without any argument.
She goes to denial mode very quickly on small things like if I say please lets not cook oily food my cholesterol is messed (which really is). One might think that’s no big deal, but she has to give me a reason of how i have been mislead about oil being unhealthy. I know for sure she doesn’t believe in anything during that moment. But she has to oppose.
So I addressed the issue of not having good conversation lately and she just thought in her mind i m telling her that it’s her fault. I didn’t lose my calm and explained it to her that i want to genuinely know who do you have good conversations with? So i was expecting she would say her best friend or sister or someone who she knows for a long time but she responded one of our mutual friends. If it was the truth, I suck or if she wanted me to make jealous, why would you do it? So stick to that comment for long but finally moved on.
Tl;dr! Anyways, I am also stubborn, doesn’t really let go of the things easily but I m quite easy going, I enjoy spending time with my gf so i just say yes to everything she asks for.
She is loving, caring and gentle but we have different understanding for almost everything.
Please advise how can i deal with this situation, how can i work on me to let go of small things? Am i acting like immature?
Should i end this relationship?
3 comments
You think she is deliberately playing mind games with you, and you haven’t already dumped her? I mean, I get how she felt like you were blaming her for causing problems, but it sounds like she is at fault for doing things that cause problems and she has terrible communication skills. Do you really want to try to put up with this?
Hey man if you feel like your not living your true potential and being held back from going places you want to explore with a partner or can’t eat to your standards than it only gets worse after 5months, Last thing you wanna do is commit to someone who is dead weight.. Many women are dying to have relationships where there partners take them out weekly and keeps things fresh.
Even if you have some fault in this situation I still suggest you backout now before going a year in.
It’s time to go. If you’re five months in and already always saying “yes” to keep the peace, she’s not even dating *you* because she doesn’t know *you* — and if you stick around and contort yourself into whatever shape to fit into this relationship, you won’t know yourself.