Should I cut my “best friend” off?

hello everyone,

I have been in my head a lot about this situation and I think it’s time I actually get other opinions on whether or not I should remove my “best friend” from my life.

We started off dating about two years ago, but it was super shaky from the beginning because she was very quick to throw the L word around and it automatically made me suspicious. Since then I have noticed that she can be a really good friend at times, but a lot has happened. We had a lot of fall outs through the years, but we’d bounce back because I think neither one of us could genuinely handle being alone. I noticed she was very quick to make several accounts to talk to me if I decided that I didn’t want to be friends or date anymore, and we’d always end up talking again. It was a very dramatic situation.

Once we decided at the beginning of 2022 that romantically we weren’t good for each other, we decided to become best friends because we felt like that was our best fit, we both liked the same things, the same foods and the same activities.

A couple of things I’d noticed in both the friendship and relationship is that she’d low key morph everything that I like into something she now liked or copying way too many things that I did for my liking. It was beyond the point of being cute, it was now creepy. I felt like she had no individuality. She likes to act like someone she’s not, and it really doesn’t sit well with me. If she thought I was talking to anyone, she was very quick to send me old pictures of us when we were dating, which made me super uncomfortable.

In the summer of 2022 she found someone she liked, and we didn’t see each other for the entire summer, and she blamed it on the fact that the girl she was now talking to didn’t “let her” see me. At this point I noticed that she really only cared to hang out with me if there wasn’t anyone else. No person I would talk to romantically could ever stop me from seeing my best friend. After that ended, she came running back to me and talking as if nothing had ever happened. Stupidly, we began messing around for a month after that, and I realized I was tired of the cycle of being friends and dating over and over again. So I told her I needed space and I felt like I’d help us both out by parting ways because it’s impossible for us to move on this way, to which she still texted me just about every day even when I didn’t respond. This was in October.

I gave myself a couple of months to really think about what I wanted out of this friendship and how we could both benefit seeing that we both loved the same things and had a person we could go on adventures with. In December we met up and talked it all over and I set boundaries so that we could both move on without losing the friendship entirely that it seemed we both valued (pretty much ways we would keep ourselves from falling back into that same cycle, such as not obligating each other to texting every single day like we used to do, and keeping things very platonic). We were way too good at switching the title from dating to just friends and still consistently having the same routine that we did while dating. She agreed and stated she felt the same way.

Since then, those boundaries have been walked over and when I finally brought it to her attention after she touched me sexually without my consent, she at first apologized but then began to blame me for not stating that what she was doing was wrong as if we are not both adults.

She had made romantic advances before, mentioning that she fantasized about me, stating she wanted to kiss me, and overall not moving on from the past even though I have not entertained it once and I made it very obvious that I was uncomfortable when certain gestures were made.

What sucks to me about this whole thing is, I try to forget that she’s my ex, but it seems as though she’ll keep reminding me. I felt like the friendship was okay, just some things to work on of course. But to me it’s not me wanting to cut off my “best friend”, it’s me wanting to cut off my ex. I really wanted this friendship to work, but even when it was working I wasn’t necessarily comfortable with her. The cons to the friendship would be simple things as cutting me off when I’m talking (almost every time I say anything, no joke), constantly making every conversation about her, not having her own individuality, and coming off as very obsessive.

This time when I brought it up to her that I wasn’t comfortable, I told her I needed space, and once again, she couldn’t go one day without texting me over and over. We were thinking about moving in together (which is something she automatically brought up when I told her about how uncomfortable she made me) stating that she wouldn’t act this way when we move and to not worry about that, but I definitely don’t see that happening. I can’t even get space virtually, there’s no way I’d get space in my own home. I’ve noticed that since I’ve met her, she always been the one to force a conversation or cross boundaries when someone simply wants space. The biggest problem is she’s completely unaware, no matter how many times I tell her, she just does not either get it or she doesn’t care. Here’s the thing, I obviously care about her, but am I being delusional? She has shown me who she is, yet I have somehow managed to believe she will respect boundaries. I am tired of having conversations with her and I’m honestly tired of making up. When I spoke to her in December about being 100% platonic I didn’t expect her brain to flick and say hey I have no feelings, but I did expect respect of the boundaries we both set, my privacy and definitely my body.
It’s unfortunate, but should I cut off my “best friend”?

tl;dr My best friend of a couple years has been a good friend, but we have had plenty of tough spots that have drained me overtime.
We actually started off as dating and transitioned into friends repeatedly, and at the end of 2022 in October I was tired of going in the same cycle so I took some space from the friendship, which during this she texted me nearly every day constantly even with no response. Each time we would argue or have a disagreement, she wouldn’t know how to give space ever. We were talking about moving in but even though I really wanted to, I am not doing that because I feel like I’d be overwhelmed. In December we spoke about boundaries (not doing the same things we did in the relationship) and being fully platonic. Since then those boundaries have not been respected, and the other day she touched me sexually without my consent, and when I brought it up she apologized at first, but then blamed me for not telling her that what she was doing was wrong earlier although we’re both adults. I told her I needed space because I have noticed that since I’ve met her she hasn’t respected any boundaries and I feel as though she can’t move on from the past. And of course, she has been texting me non stop and has not gone one day without texting me regardless of the space I asked for. What should I do?