20m and me and my gf have been together for 5 years. It was a very earlier high school fling that turned into something beautiful. We are deeply in love with each other and she is to say the least, stunning. Our sex life has been great, however she’s always been the submissive one. I feel like she expects me to flip her around into different positions and to hold her down and such. She even waits for me to make a move and it would be nice if she can just start being a little more aggressive. I’ve had a convo with her about what I’d like from our sex life and how I’d like her to be a little more dominant. She just say it’s not her character and enjoys being submissive..
On another note, she doesn’t enjoy giving head that much.. 🥲 she will give head “when she’s in the mood” but usually that’s about once in every 4 times we have sex. I’ll never force her to do anything, but it’s pretty necessary for a healthy sex life as a personal opinion. I don’t really know what I’m asking for at this point. It’s not really as enjoyable for me anymore. We do different positions, we sometimes make videos, keep things fresh and fun. But that one thing is missing. I just would like her to be aggressive and dominant and more open to oral sex.
3 comments
If it’s not her thing, it’s just not her thing. Some people love giving oral, some hate it, some are ambivalent about it.
Your choices are either accept that she’s not massively fond of giving oral or to break up with her. If you feel that you receiving oral sex is vital to a healthy sex life and oral is not her thing, those are your choices.
I understand that you might think my bluntness cruel but there is no way to make a submissive person Dominant (unless they enjoy being a service top) and there is no way to make someone give more oral sex.
Sounds like she lacks overall enthusiasm about sex.
You can’t change how she feels about certain things. You’ve already communicated your needs and wants, and unfortunately she is unwilling to compromise. You will have to settle or leave.
If the lack of oral and femdom are deal breakers for you, then it’s time to move on to prevent a dead bedroom down the road.