My boyfriend has basically an extremely flirtatious relationship with a co-worker. I’ve confronted him about it, but he claims it’s an on going joke because this co worker is gay, and that co worker jokes with everyone that way. I looked through their text (never wanted to feel betray trust that but I needed more info) and there’s not a lot of talking but every time they do it’s “thanks sexy” and a lot of this emoji 🫠….. am I being gaslight?
And, no my boyfriend has never explicitly said anything about being bisexual but definitely given me some hints.
Edit: hints being that we play the “would you smash” game with both genders. He’s never had an issue with it. Along with just a general feeling I guess. There are definitely a lot of other hints I’m just not thinking of right now but this definitely isn’t something I’m jumping the gun at.
4 comments
Yup, they are banging. trust your gut.
You’re ex boyfriend needs to do some soul searching
Ah, now I see what you mean. Thank you!
I had an ex, that took me to a male friend’s apartment, to hang with two other male friends who were staying there. He told me the friend who lived there was flamboyant, which didn’t bother me, I am pan and love being around other queers. My BF at the time was pretty masculine, a little alpha man energy, but relatively playful and chill about queerness. When we got to his friend’s house, the friend was, to put it blatantly, very bitchy. Caught me completely off guard, since I was actually kinda happy my BF had gay male friends. The friend immediately made comments about my complexion, me being okay looking, ect. My BF did nothing to intervene, just told me to “ignore him”. I am generally pretty quiet around new people, so i kept it cute. The other two friends eventually stepped in and told him to leave me alone. The friend seemed to be bothered by this, and said “Does it bother you that I fucked your man?” I just said “no, I don’t care who he slept with before me, I’m gay too.” My BF suddenly bucked up and vehemently denied they slept together. Odd that was the ONLY thing he cared to speak up about, but i didn’t like this guy trying to out him to me or whatever was going on. I wasn’t gonna make a scene, but when we got home I straight up told him, I did not care if he liked men, I’d love him regardless. He still maintained he was not gay, angrily. I started noticing suspicious behavior as well. Him not checking his “friend” to begin with was a serious red flag. Bottom line is, I felt like he struggled to be honest with himself, so expecting him to be honest with me, was laughable. If he was closeted or just curious, the shame was probably eating him up. Your BF is probably curious, I think most men are, which is natural, but he owes you honesty about it. He probably hasn’t really accepted he likes flirting with this man, might even just be a dominance thing. But you gotta set a boundary.