I was really shy to talk about sexual things and intimacy. I was cringed to even touch my body in a intimate way. But I was curious about my genital area and I wondered how it looked. So without looking it myself I tried to search it through internet and came through many vaginas and vulva.( I’m 21+) actually they were fine, no dark areas around them and all. But my inner thighs are dark(not like a black hole but somewhat dark). So I wanted to confirm myself if mine is the same as theirs. Using a mirror I looked at myself and I’m in a total breakdown. It’s so dark. I literally cried and panicked. I’ve never been sexually active and now I’m even more worried. How my partner would react.( I never had a bf in my life so I’m worried about my future boyfriend) I know it’s normal to have dark inner areas but I’m so much insecure about this. I can’t talk about this to anyone. That’s why I chose this platform. Guys on reddit, I wanna know if the darker inner thighs and vulva disguts men?
3 comments
Well, first off, you can’t really generalize something like this. “Men” aren’t some monolithic hive mind where every single one of us likes the exact same things. Some of us like big breasts, and some like small ones; some of us like dark hair, while others like light hair; some of us like women with some meat on their bones, while others of us prefer the thinner look; and some of us like darker genital skin, and others don’t.
The *real* question is, “How important *is* this to any given person?” Because, I mean, yes, many of us have dealbreakers regarding physical qualities. But most of us, especially as we get older, stop caring as much. The truth is that romance takes place between *people*, not bodies, and while we all — obviously — have preferences re: “what we want our One And Only to look like,” there’s a difference between having preferences and having, well, dealbreakers.
And finally, here’s just a simple truth: if you decide to sleep with someone, they owe you at least politeness. They may have some preferences that you don’t meet — that’s only normal and natural — but it’s their job to *be quiet* about those things. Similarly, you’ll discover it’s your job to be quiet about *your* preferences that they don’t meet. After all, *he can’t do anything about it*: he can’t suddenly become three inches taller or have broader shoulders or have less nipple hair or whatever. And, as the Disney movie reminds us, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, just don’t say anything.” Telling him what you wish he was would just demoralize him, so… you don’t tell him. In the same vein, he should be keeping certain things to himself. If he *doesn’t*, you now know that he’s an asshole. Kick him out of bed; kick him out the front door; break up with him; lock the door behind you. *Then* let him get dressed. 😉
You’re not looking to find some man and become his definition of “beautiful”. You’re looking for someone whose pre-existing definition of “beautiful” happens to describe you precisely. If that isn’t what you have, it’s okay to keep looking. =)
I agree with all the lengthy and constructive advice you’ve already gotten.
But I’ll just chime in to say that in my experience, most straight men are delighted with whatever vulvas they get to interact with. It’s adorable; somehow they’re always happy about them. Darker colour? Great. Long labia? Sure. Asymmetrical? All good.
Straight men can contradict me if I’m wrong, and I’m sure there are exceptions. But in general, you have nothing to worry about. Provided you maintain basic standards of hygiene, your future partner(s) will be happy and excited to see your private parts no matter what they look like.
Your body will likely change over time , look for someone who really loves you and he will always like the way your body is