My boyfriend and I had just gotten done having sex and an another hour later were getting ready for another round. He took his pants off and his dick was soft. I was upset about it because it made me feel unattractive he wasn’t hard. So as I was about to go down on him I mentioned how my ex was never “soft” around me. He gets really angry about it and tells me don’t ever mention another’s guy name like that during that time because it felt gay. He was angry very angry to where I became scared. Just to put this out there. My boyfriend and I talk about my ex all the time, he even makes jokes about my ex himself which is why I felt comfortable saying that..
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Why did you think that was a good idea at all? You insulted him because of your own insecurities so of course he was angry. Also stop talking about your ex. Even if he’s making jokes too, **no one** likes hearing about their partners ex.
Comparing his dick to your ex and saying that his wasn’t as good as your ex? Wow I don’t even know what to say that is just fucked up royally.
And certainly don’t bring up disappointment that his dick is soft, especially after a round. That’s a huge sore point for a lot of men, they think they should be able to get it up for another round but it’s just not happening, which is totally normal but still embarrassing.
Even if he was hard before any mention of a ex is usually an instant boner killer. I would not bring it up again.
You’d just finished having sex and you were upset that he wasn’t hard for round two. Give the poor bloke a break, it isn’t about not being attracted to you, it’s simply how many people’s bodies work. Making him feel bad about it however may make him less attracted to you in the long run. Honestly, I think you owe him an apology.
Stop talking about your ex completely. In the bedroom and not. He may not even realize it but it’s probably making him insecure in himself and in your relationship. He makes jokes about your ex as a way to mask that. Why do you keep bringing him up? What is the reason behind him constantly being in your mind? Of course you’ll think about exes once in a while but it shouldn’t be all the time and you should never directly compare your partner to him, especially at a time like that.
Jeeez…. how on earth did you think this was a good idea. And seemingly confused at how angry he got.
Your bf anger ain’t the issue here. Your….. well, I’ll be honest. Stupidity, is the issue.
Imagine he said to you. My ex was able to make me hard when looking at her.
So so so dumb
This is wierd and kind of immature honestly…
I think anyways
How would you feel if you weren’t wet one day and he said “well gee golly my ex was always wet around me”
Of course, at least his ex was pretty enough to make him hard.
Welcome to today’s episode of Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid Prizes!
You are putting him down. Do t do that your damaging his ego and hurting his feelings.
Comparing his dick to an ex, and shaming him? How would that ever be a good idea?
Him using the reasoning “it feels gay” for getting upset? What in the homophobia does that even mean?
.. lol you’re both immature as fuck
Lol! Youre an idiot…
“My ex was better than you”
Cool. Go be with him then…
“Omg I said something fucked up I can’t believe he’s so mad at me! Maybe that was a bad idea. I know I’ll go ask reddit!!!!!!!!!11111”
Can you imagine if he said something about HIS ex while y’all were having sex? And people wonder why their relationships fail lol.
No shit that was a bad idea. He already feels bad about being soft, so you chose to not only emasculate him, but to do so comparing him to your ex.
That is true shit level human conduct right there.
Poor guy
Wow…….
i mean anyone w common sense would know that’s not a good idea… u need to move on from ur ex or something cause why r u always talking about him to ur current partner
lmao I remember one time I was giving my boyfriend a blow job and I started twisting with both of my hands while sucking and he said “thats what my ex used to do” , immediate turn off and never did that move ever again cause it makes me think of that
That is a legitimately poorly thought out thing to do, not gonna lie.
You fucked up. Hard. What if he told you that his ex never made him soft?
Jesus fucking Christ really?
Not only did you compare him to your ex but also compared his dick to your ex’s dick!
In what fucking world is that okay.
you done fucked up.
1: You are in a relationship. Leave the past in the past and move on from your Ex. Just because you can talk about him doesnt mean its a good thing to do so.
2: You belittled him. You made fun of his member, which is a particularly sensitive subject for most, if not all men. You should never cut a man down. period. Especially do not cut him down on the size, state, form, or performance of his dick. Its cruel and his anger and hurt is 100% justified.
I suggest you that you ardently apologize for making him feel like less and work on building his confidence and trust back up.
He will NEVER be able to forget or forgive you said that.
Yes. Horrible idea. If this was r/AITA it would be a clear YTA.
Why do you talk so much about your ex to begin with?
There’s no way you didn’t say that to hurt him. Guess what, you did. Hope he breaks up with you.
Directly negatively comparing his dick with ex, while implying he doesn’t find you as attractive as your ex did was a double bad move.
I’m not sure what it would take to get him back, but that would a huge blow to any man.
if this story is true (I doubt it), you’re an asshole.
If you want to fix the problem, kissing and light touching his cock might help. I have a hard time going for a second round and it’s usually what helps me, but everyone is different so it might not work with your bf
You’re gonna cause me to make a very ableist comment rn
It’s not gay to hear another guy’s name, but you are definitely the toxic one in this situation. It’s unreasonable for you to be upset with him for being soft, and it’s terrible of you to compare him to your ex.
He deserves better.
Yes. It’s a fucking terrible idea.
The only exception is if your partner asks you to do so as part of a hot past kink.
He’s will never get over that comment you made so don’t be surprised if he leaves you.
Why would that even be a necessary comment? How immature. The fact that you “feel” any type of a way about something that he didn’t do intentionally or has no control over, is definitely a YOU problem. He’s human and it’s of absolutely no indication as to how attracted he is towards you. You should definitely apologize. He was absolutely within his right to be super mad. The fact that you are now trying to justify what you did by how angry he got…Own up to what you did and don’t do that again. To anyone. Ever.
He overreacted, but mentioning the ex during that time is never good
Such a horrible trend on here of women who, because the guy can’t control his bodily functions on command, paint themselves as a victim and then lash out with insults based on their insecurities.
Well, at least I can appreciate how honest you are with us.
> He took his pants off and his dick was soft. I was upset about it because it made me feel unattractive he wasn’t hard.
Different dicks work differently. Taking it personally isn’t as useful as figuring out how to work it.
Also, if you feel unattractive you have to deal with that separately. Is he treating you like you’re attractive generally? Are your standards realistic in terms of what you want from a partner?
> So as I was about to go down on him I mentioned how my ex was never “soft” around me.
Really? You sound young so I’ll assume you’re still learning but, I assume you wouldn’t appreciate if he said “My ex was always wet for me”. And if you would accept that, you shouldn’t. There are better ways to talk about sex and your insecurities. Comparing your partner to your ex because you want them to feel bad is insanely toxic. Comparing your partner to your ex because you’re insecure and panicking is insanely immature.
> He was angry very angry to where I became scared.
If he is genuinely unhinged or lacking in emotional regulation then you should leave or he needs anger management/therapy.
But I don’t know how angry he was in that moment, and I would expect anyone to get angry if they were being insulted during sex. There is a reasonable amount of anger, and a reasonable way to show that anger.
> My boyfriend and I talk about my ex all the time, he even makes jokes about my ex himself which is why I felt comfortable saying that.
Lesson learned, joking about your ex in one context doesn’t mean he’ll appreciate comments about your ex in another.
I don’t know the specifics, but if he was okay with you talking about your ex because he was part of a story you were telling, that doesn’t mean he’s okay with you **calling him worse than your ex.**
That kind of toxic shit just makes people assume their partners don’t really like them, or that their partners have no idea how to deal with their emotions in a healthy way.
I’m making this whole post assuming that you’re young and have poor relationship skills like many of us did. Many of us grew up where a lot of unhealthy, and toxic relationship practices were common. So pretending that I’m leagues better than you would be disingenuous.
Still though, you should strive to expect better from yourself and your partners.
Ummm… why would you do that? I’ve never been able to cum more than once every 6-12 hours. After the first orgasm, I’m usually not even horny again until the next day. Guys have different refractory periods, and it has absolutely nothing to do with their partners. Even if you had that thought in your head of comparing him to your ex, saying it out loud was as sexually counterproductive as him telling you that his ex had a tighter vagina.
Comparing me to anyone is a good way to instantly end the conversation and often convince me to leave for a time. Serious bad karma, and you were critical.
🙄🙄🙄🙄
You were upset because he wasn’t hard? What is wrong with you?