So I’ve been going out with this girl since October, the first few months were great, romantically and all that, but recently she’s been sad, when I mean recently she’s been crying every night for the past month and a half, ik it sounds selfish, but it’s taking a real toll on me. Every night when she cries she beats herself up and talks down to me like I’m not understanding her “problems” and says stuff like I don’t love her, or that I just think that I do. It seems like she gets into moods with me over anything, whether it’s in school and I sit next to another girl becuase of the seating the plan or even how I look at someone when they talk to me, it’s ridiculous and I find myself constantly apologising. But recently arguments are starting to occur, she brings up things that happened ages ago to have ago at me for, for example she was away last Halloween so I went with my cousin who is like my sister to a matching costume party, and matched with her, it’s march and she brings it up how she felt sad and disgusted that I matched costumes with another girl, as in my cousin ! Which is ridiculous and i try and explain to her that I matched with my cousin to a party but didn’t listen and blamed it on her being sad and upset, and also mentioned she didn’t like my tone, so again I apologised for that, it’s so stupid. I don’t want her to ruin any relationship I have with my family, because she’s sort of distanced me from all my boys. So I don’t know what to do because is all this a good enough reason to break up with her for I just don’t know what to do with this relationship anymore.
TL;DR : I really need help on how to handle my girlfriend so far I’m still with her I just need other people opinions.
4 comments
She’s depressed and needs treatment and you should tell her that. She probably won’t get it though so you have to decide if this is what you want for your life.
Honestly, you don’t need a special reason that is “good enough” to break up. There’s not some certain threshold you have to reach. The only reason you need is that you don’t want to be in the relationship anymore. Relationships should be mostly very fun and easy with a few ups and downs mixed in, but this sounds mostly pretty tough and has been that way for a while. Also, don’t put your friends on the backburner for a relationship.
Kick her to the curb.
When people say, “you can’t love others if you can’t love yourself,” this is what they mean. Not you, of course, but her.
Unfortunately, the thing that that phrase leaves out is how others cannot love you, either. She wants you to love her but she won’t let you in. It’s a losing game.
She needs therapy. It might be a mood or personality disorder, and you are not responsible for fixing it. It sounds like you tried to accommodate her with your patience, but things only seem to be getting worse.
It’s okay to break it off. This is not good for your mental health.