When you’re literally on top of someone you can 100% tell if the other people wants you there. Their body language, their expression, their eagerness, etc. Shitty people know what they’re doing, they don’t care about yes, no, what have you. So for ordinary people who have, like, basic social awareness, asking “do you want to have sex?” feels extremely clinical and redundant.
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Oh come on, there are 100 ways you can make this dirty talk… Be creative
You’re missing a really important piece of the puzzle here.
People often feel pressured in sexual situations and there’s literally no way to 100% no what someone wants unless you can read minds.
Hmm, well no shit, Sherlock.
There’s a lot of things that can get in the way like drugs and alcohol, and conditional previous acceptance and roleplay. So… This is a grey area and I will not acknowledge Twilight fanfiction as legitimate no matter what. So let’s just put a pin in that idea. Common sense ain’t so common tho.
“Social awareness” can be deceiving. I’d dare to put some money on the majority of people overestimating their own level of social awareness. And you’ll see even the most empathic considerate people totally misreading a room every once in a while and accidentally being an asshole. And some people are simply unable to or terrible at reading body language and expressions.
And it’s easy to be biased, and see what you want to see, especially when you’re becoming increasingly horny. Sure, there’s horrible people who are fully aware of what they’re doing. But that’s not every rape case. I’m sure a lot of them involve drunk and very horny people, who give themself the benefit of the doubt to rationalize it, or on occasion even wanted to check verbally, but chickened out because they were scared of killing the mood.
It’s also not uncommon for people to fake participation or enthusiasm as a defense mechanism. Especially if, say, they’re afraid the other person might get angry and hurt them if they don’t participate.
The discourse is clinical because it’s meant to work for as many people and cases as is reasonable and taking subjectivity out of it as much as possible.
That doesn’t mean YOU have to be clinical about it in the moment though. Most people will simply appreciate the fact that you’re checking in, even if you ask in the most clinical unsexy way. But you can easily ask for consent without taking away from the mood.
Have you considered: If you are not socially aware enough to work in asking for consent in a way that feels natural. Maybe you shouldn’t be so quick to assume you’re socially aware enough to read people correctly 100% of the time.
The thing is shitty people don’t always know what they are doing, and sometimes they can be shitty even just one time without realizing it. The way to avoid that is through consent. If you can’t figure out how consent (in the beginning of any act and periodically checking in) can be sexy, I don’t think you are mature enough for sex.
Idk, It makes me excited when someone verbalises what they want and ask “do you want x” or “I’d like to do x”.
Ur right ppl are being weird
I feel like if it was that obvious then the discussion about consent wouldn’t need to happen in the first place.