We’ve (me 30f, my husband 30m, our daughters 4 and 9 months) moved to a research campus in the States from the UK four months ago for husband’s career. We made an effort to be friendly to everyone and of the friends I have made, they have all told me they are so glad to have met me, talk to me regularly, invite us to their place, and invite me and my girls out all the time, so I don’t believe our behavior is terrible or offensive. However, everyone else we’ve had good conversations with now flat out pretend they don’t see or hear us when we attend the children’s movie nights on campus every Friday. One of them is our next door neighbor and is the father of two girls (8&6) who love playing with my oldest and even come over to my house quite often, where I always give them food or cook for them if I don’t already have anything prepared – but he will walk right past me when I say hello at Friday’s event, unless his wife is with him. One lady invited me to her place only to do the same thing and she even called me when she was in my proximity to let me know my daughter was asking for me in the children’s room, rather than approaching and be seen talking to me. Now my husband’s coworkers have totally stopped talking to him and didn’t even communicate that a high powered laser, which could have blinded him, was on when he was asked to work on it. He isn’t even complaining about them not making small talk or anything (he is very adept at small talk and socializing in general), but he isn’t getting vital information about the work communicated with him. So I have no idea what’s going on or what to do since I’ve never experienced something like this before.

1 comment
  1. It sounds like the more important issue here is physical workplace safety. Might want to speak to a lawyer. Making sure your husband stays alive is higher priority than dealing with passive aggressiveness.

    Next, socialize with people outside of work colleagues.

    Lastly, why invest any effort when these folks clearly don’t want to interact? There is no point figuring out other people’s dysfunctions. Move on, meet new people, find new job, enjoy life.

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