I hooked up with one of my best friends ex. She confessed her feelings for me after and while I have had feelings for her for a long time, I was never going to act on them on account of her being the ex of one of my best friends. I was completely okay with dealing with the crush on my own and leaving it at that, but she kissed me, confessed, and one thing led to another. We’ve had a bunch of conversations since about what we want to do going forward and how the news was to be broken, but I cannot shake this feeling of guilt and indecisiveness. On one hand, I feel that would be telling him to assuage my guilt and it would only ruin our relationship as friends which is important to the both of us. However, on the other hand, I know that I want to be honest in my relationships and not hide something from him that may very well come out later on. I don’t know the best way to go about it- I really don’t want to lose him as a friend.
Backstory: We were all really good friends while they were together and when he moved, I remained close with her and the other members of our group. Again, I always had a little crush, but I planned on ignoring it forever. He moved back to our town and they tried to get back together, but she didn’t want that anymore. I’ve been a close friend and confidante for the both of them and now I feel that I’ve betrayed one of my oldest friends and I don’t see a reason for him to want to reconcile.
TLDR; I hooked up with my best friends ex and I’m scared that I may lose him. Advice?
4 comments
You’re going to lose your bestfriend likely. So just be ready for that
Advice for what? it’s not up to you
You have already broken the bro code. He will eventually get to know one or the other day. He will hate you for life.
You need to tell him sooner rather than later. As someone who was in your friends position I have to tell you the worst bit was that everyone else knew before me and it was this big secret people were keeping from me. They’re not together and broke up because he moved away, seems like he doesn’t want to be with her so there should be no issue with you being with her.