I have a boy coming over for the first time in a year. I waxed, changed my sheets, washed my duvet, fluffed my pillows, cleaned the bathroom, swept, organized the fridge, lit candles, and lotioned my entire body. What do men do before a woman comes over?

43 comments
  1. Hide my homemade pocket pussy, slide living room dishes under the couch, flip the top sheet and blanket, hide the nightstand mirror and razor blade, take a quick shit, hit the living room with a leaf blower, and a fast shower

  2. Almost the same as you but they spend most of the time wondering what the fuck a duvet is

  3. Shave my nuts and clean the house , specifically the bathroom . If nothing else she will judge you on your piss stained toilet the most . So if nothing else at least the bathroom.

  4. Personally, it depends which woman. If its my wife. Nothing. That happens daily. If its my mom. Try make the place look vaguely clean by throwing stuff under the bed and sofa.

    Also.

    >organized the fridge

    Why?

  5. Man scape. Take a shower. Look for anything to make u last longer🤣😂😅

  6. I usually clear off the living room coffee table so we can have a comfy spot for our Bible study.

    Which is the only reason a person of the opposite sex would be over.

    That or they are part of the inquisition.

    But nobody expects the inquisition.

  7. Clean. Everything. Bathroom twice. Fresh sheets. Empty trash. Healthy shower. Scrubs everything twice. Maybe even “clean the pipes”. Set something out that smells good. Hide dirty clothes. Throw out spoiled food. Make sure I have cold water and ice.

  8. I do the same but no waxing for me, just making sure it’s trimmed down there. Happy Ending!

  9. I have more than a few hours notice I’ll wash my bedding (maybe), take a shower, put on clothes that are easy to take off later (i.e. not a shirt with buttons and I’ll probably have pajama bottoms of some sort depending on the time), get my beard looking and smelling pretty, light a candle in my bedroom, clean the bathroom and my bedroom, and finally (this is the most important part) sit in my recliner and obsessively check my phone to make sure she’s not cancelling.

    If it’s just “hey, I’ll be there in 20 minutes” then I brush my beard, make sure my dick and balls don’t smell terrible, and lay my blanket out in a way that makes it look like I make my bed every day. Then I sit in my recliner and obsessively check my phone to make sure she’s not cancelling.

  10. Depends on how much time we’ve got, and varies a little from guy to guy…

    If you have enough time, maybe air the place out if it needs it, take a shower and manscape… In the last few minutes, it’ll be throwing clutter and laundry someplace out of sight and/or straightening up the bed.

  11. The first time I ever meet someone? I haven’t done any tidying up the first time I met someone really, my last triad relationship was my longest and most serious one and I was homeless when it began.

    If I was having something new over now? Pretty much what you described, although I need to buy a broom and I certainly don’t have enough in my refrigerator to need to organize, so picking up food would be in order.

    Typically when I already know the person I clean up and organize but don’t stress if it isn’t perfect, have some tasty food on hand, plan at least one activity, and absolutely no matter what whoever it is or how long I’ve known them masturbate first. Anxiety is a big issue for me and that really helps.

    Edit. I don’t usually do candles. I could probably use to get some candles.

  12. My first thought gonna be, holyshit, I havent clean my room for awhile, gotta do it quick

  13. Make sure the house is clean, I’m clean, bed is clean, and that there is a variety of beverages that she may enjoy if she is thirsty.

  14. Jerk off.

    Literally, that’s it, to save potential embarrassment of throwing yogurt too early.

  15. 1. Go to the gym and hit only 1 rep of 315 on bench press to acquire a pump for the rest of the day
    2. Splash some water on my nuts and bathe in a cloud of dark temptation Axe body spray
    3. Build a wood table
    4. Watch all of Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure Part 2 to awaken my inner Joestar bloodline
    5. Talk date logistics with my cat
    6. Maybe do dishes

  16. You put way too much effort into something where at best he might notice.

    I clean the house, shower, shave, have food and beverages available. Make sure toiletries are stocked. But I would do that for any guest, and also because I like a clean living space…

  17. You pretty much just described it. Panic-clean the house in hopes it’ll impress the person we’re having over

  18. *2 years into the relationship*
    ” remember when you used to wax, change sheets, wash duvet, fluff pillows, clean bathroom, sweep, clean fridge, light candles and lotion your entire body before we fooled around? Yea, me neither”

  19. Might clean sheets, definitely take a shower and brush teeth reapply deodorant

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