I’m currently dating a guy who is originally from Sweden, but living in the UK.
We went on a first date yesterday and he asked me for a kiss at the end, I was shocked as I don’t usually kiss people until like the 3rd date. I assumed he wanted a little ‘peck’ on the lips but he tried to French kiss me and it got super awkward…
Anyway we’re now wanting to go on a second date and he asked if there was somewhere we could go, a eatery or bar where we could ‘kiss properly.’
Is this normal for a second date?
34 comments
Some people fuck on the first date, some people kiss after 10 dates. There’s no normal, only what feels right for you, but you don’t have to do anything that you don’t wanna do
If I don’t kiss a girl “romantically” by the second date, I’m going to assume she’s not interested at all.
It is fairly customary to have a romantic kiss at the END of the 1st date assuming both of you want to see each other romantically further.
These are all general rules though, nothing is set in stone.
Yep. Kissing is no biggie, go for it and have fun! That being said if you don’t enjoy it then you are probably not compatible with this guy. Find somebody that is okay with not kissing.
I can’t remember a date, where the first kiss wasn’t a french kiss tbh? (Be in on the 1st date or whatever date).
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Actually I think I’ve only met one girl, where we didn’t kiss on the 2nd date and somehow got around to a 3rd date as well.
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On the other hand, I can remember plenty of 1st date that ended in sex
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Crazy, eh?
If we don’t kiss at the end of the first date I don’t think he is very interested in me. If a guy is interested in me I expect physical affection right from the get go.
But what’s “normal” is different for everybody and is solely dependant on a person’s individual comfort level.
It’s normal if both people want to.
I’ll do that and more on a first date if there’s chemistry, personalities vibe and there’s the opportunity.
What if literally every human being on the planet did this on the 2nd date? Would it feel any better to you? Honestly, it doesn’t much matter how normal it is.
You like what you like, and if kissing like this is too soon then as a grown woman with a preference, you should communicate your physical preferences to someone so they know. Trust me, most men would like to know where the hell you are on the spectrum, because trust me there’s no normal.
Some women have wanted to french and get handsy with me on the first date, some not until the 6th, some not at all. God how I’d love an ISO standard on tongue.
Ewwww! LOL but exactly! Especially if they just sound like they have a mouth full of saliva. You know the ones I mean.
Aww, this remind me of my first relationship at 18 where we first kiss at the third date 🙂 then my next relationship we had sex on the first date. Do what you prefer, if you are not comfortable kissing at the first one its ok but either way anything its normal in this giant world
Well, I had sex with my now husband on our first date so for me, yes it’s normal to have a proper snog as well. But it all depends on what you like, what you’re comfortable with, and what your own personal boundaries are.
As long as you’re both adults, consenting and willing, you can literally do whatever you want on the first date. That being said, you can take 5 dates, 100 dates, it really comes down to whatever you and the person you’re with is comfortable with!
Nothing wrong with not wanting to kiss until 3 or 5 date; just be aware that many people will conclude that if 2 date didn’t ended in kisses there’s no chemistry and no point in 3rd one.
If you have a tongue, use it!
You do you. Just tell him your boundaries (“I’m not used to being physical at first dates, so I may go more slowly than you. Like french kissing for exemple, I may need à few dates.” Or even “if that’s fine for you, I’ll initiate”).
Everyone said it, people have different norms. Also the partner and context may speed or slow the person pace a bit. Last but not least, our education and culture impacts us.
That’s à good discussion to have with a partner. Y’ou get to see his temper and values.
It sounds like it’s normal for this person, so you probably aren’t compatible,
If we don’t kiss on the first date there is not second date.
I don’t understand why you’re so judgmental? You talk about kissing and sex and touching like you’re a child on the playground scared of cooties.
You do not get to judge others and call them gross, shallow, immature, or assume that they only care about sex.
You aren’t holier than thou’ because you delay having sex or kissing or touching someone. A lot of people don’t see the point in wasting time in building a relationship just to find out you aren’t sexually compatible months or even years down the line.
I’ve never waited longer than the first date to kiss once It’s apparent that it’s going well and we’ll be going out again. But yeah, usually I feel it out with a sensual, drawn out kiss before I try to open my mouth. I’ve gone on dates with girls from south and Central America though and they have no problem Making out with you anywhere in public. Depends on cultural norms.
It’s definitely not abnormal.
I went out with this dude, we kissed on the first date and on the second date, we already went for a french kiss. So absolutely, as long as everyone involved does want it 🙂
As a guy, I usually kiss on the first date. Hell, I’d have sex on a first date lol.
If the first date goes well and both myself and the other person are into each other, I’d be hopeful for a kiss at the very least on the first date.
No expectations or pressure – that being said, I’d personally be pretty hesitant to go on more dates with someone who is not interested in a *kiss* after a couple successful dates.
Now, that is me, and it’s cool for you to have your own boundaries / expectations.
Slept with my current partner on date 1 and still going strong 7 months later.
Just because someone is interested in kissing / sex early on doesn’t mean they are going to ghost you or jump ship.
If anything, the weirdest part about your entire post is that he asked about a place to go “where you could kiss properly” 😂
There’s no such thing as normal
The less everyone stops trying to be in a normal this doing normal that the happier y’all will be
Sounds like you two are going at slightly different speeds and that’s totally okay. Communicate clearly what you are comfortable with and when. No need to feel anything bad about boundaries and self respect. Be sure he respects you and your boundaries too though. The moment anyone doesn’t, pack up your boundaries and bounce.
Whether it’s normal completely depends on the person, but as a Scandinavian I would say that we usually don’t make a big deal out of these things.
The stereotypical way that relationships start in Scandinavia is that you meet someone through an app, at a party or in a bar, hook up, and afterwards you might start considering if you like each other enough that it could potentially turn into a relationship. Then you go on dates. 3-4 dates without anything happening is a bit unusual to us – both men and women – and will seem somewhat old-fashioned.
So there is a good chance he thinks he’s going very slow here, but I’m sure if you explain your views to him and make him aware that he needs to consider the cultural differences between you and him, he’ll listen and understand 🙂 I live abroad myself and have made the same “mistake” before. There is something to be said for the tension that builds up during a longer courtship phase as well though.
Pro tip: if he asks if he can kiss you, it’s a kiss on the lips.
I also rarely kiss on the first date. I only did once, and it was magical. But you definitely have to read the room.
I would not just kiss. If I am going to kiss someone on the first date or on any date I’d want to make out. I actually save small pecks and kisses on the cheek or forehead for someone I’m much closer to because it’s like filler kisses 😆
Yeah it’s normal.
Yes
Sounds creepy. Going for the French after a 1st date is a no for most people in my experience. I’ve only gone for pecks and expected pecks.
*ponders life choices after finding out not everyone has sex after the first date.* 🙃
Ew no. No kissing on first date. At all. And his request to go somewhere where you can kiss appropriately?? Inappropriate.
You should only do what you’re comfortable with. That being said, kissing is very common by the second date.
Had a first date tonight and we french kissed!
He sounds like a complete weirdo! Red flags 🚩 who tf says can we go somewhere where we can kiss properly? Wtf 🤡😂