So I (16f) am growing up with strict but extremely loving parents. Due to the former, I learned to hide many things from an early age so that I could stay on the same page as my peers trend-wise. This hiding habit ranged from reading books in secret to listening to ‘forbidden’ music. I’ve recently started a habit of going on my laptop at night, both for the additional privacy and so I didn’t have to stress about being found out.
Unfortunately for me last night, I fell asleep WITH MY LAPTOP STILL ON MY BED, and woke up with it *on my desk*. I couldn’t believe my bad luck. I had fallen asleep with the forbidden music playing on my earbuds (which had been removed and placed next to my pillow) and had a secret social media account open on the screen as well.
My mother hasn’t mentioned anything yet, but she has a habit of waiting until you think that everything might have all blown over/she really has no idea what you did and then having a heart-wrenching talk with you where she asks you to tell her everything that you think she should change, but you get tongue-tied or angry so she just looks disappointed and sometimes I hear her crying quietly in her room later, which makes me feel horrible. When I came to the kitchen this morning she seemed quieter and maybe a bit more irritable than usual, but maybe that’s just my nerves talking.
I’m honestly hoping that it was my dad who found that laptop, because he would be much less likely to glance at the screen than my mom, and he’s pretty chill about these things, although if it’s something big he might casually inform my mother. He should be home any minute now, and I have no idea what to say or do.
If they confront me, what should I say? If they don’t, how should I act? PLEASE HELP ASAP
tl;dr I got caught doing something I’m strictly forbidden from doing, and I’m not sure which parent found out which could make things 10x better or 20x worse. What should I do?
Edit: I have tried to negotiate more freedoms with my mother, but as I am a bit behind in my schoolwork at the moment she always points that out, and says that once I am all caught up she will consider what I have to say. If I ever try to argue further by saying that I have a lot on my plate, she mentions the kids I know who are doing everything I am and more, and I have no answer to that, because she refuses to see that maybe they are doing better because they have more freedom to watch movies/listen to music/play video games/see friends/go out than I do, and that their freedom is not just a result of their amazing awesomeness lol.
2 comments
Don’t be upset if you don’t meet someone’s unrealistic expectations.
If all you are worried about in terms of recourse is her crying and guilt tripping you then you just need to grow a thicker skin if you are deciding that doing these forbidden things is worth it to you.
Adulthood is taken not given. You aren’t going to wake up at 18 with her suddenly allowing things or being okay with you making your own life choices. The guilt trips and tears will continue your whole life as long as you let it.
What happens when she didn’t like your spouse or doesn’t want your kids doing “forbidden” things, you’re going to have to learn how to navigate this as an adult too.
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