I’m almost 20 and in university and have never been on a date or even had a girl show any amount of interest in me in my life. I don’t think I could get a date if my life depended on it. This is unlike anyone I’ve ever met. Even other single people usually talk about at least having an ex or a short relationship in their past. Meanwhile I have literally no experience whatsoever and no one has ever liked me at all.
At first I shrugged it off and just enjoyed my hobbies and focused on school but as nothing has changed even a bit over years, I’m so afraid for my future, I can’t think about anything else and school is getting very hard. Considering no girl is even willing to do as little as go on a date with me I don’t know how my life is going to end up. It’s almost certain I’ll have a six figure engineering job out of college so financially I have nothing to worry about but I can’t imagine always being single. Growing up and seeing my parents’ great relationship and all the hobbies they do together, I can’t imagine being single for my life. I honestly don’t know how/if I’ll get through it.
I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong is the thing. I don’t believe I’m ugly and if I ask girls if I’m ugly, they usually are annoyed I would even ask that. I’ve never really been close friends with any girls in my life so idk if that has anything to with it. All of my friends in college are guys just due to my major and hobbies. So there’s noone I can even ask out of I wanted to. I feel like I’m always distant from girls compared to guys just terms of friendship. I don’t know if they think I’m weird or if there’s another reason. Maybe I subconsciously avoid talking to girls out of some fear. I’ve tried using bumble just out of curiosity but I didn’t get a single match and ran out of people in my entire metro area after a few weeks (I didn’t swipe right on many people tbf). I meet a fair amount of people just from like online university chats. Even when I do meet girls out from these and we’ve been having a great conversation over text, I always feel uninterestined beyond being acquaintances irl for some reason.
At this point I’m just worried and confused because the worrying is preventing me from being productive in life.
2 comments
You’re only 20 dude, it’ll get better. I promise you that. I was laggin around that age too, they can sense the insecurities i swear. As soon as i learned to love myself these women just started showing up out of know where! Chin up man!
Put yourself out there, you have nothing to lose. Don’t ask people if you’re ugly, huge red flag.
Try to avoid thinking about how you come across, focus on actually having a conversation and listening, responding natural. If it helps, assume they are already attracted to you, and you can just be yourself.
But, at the end of it all, you don’t NEED a girlfriend, it’s okay to be single, it’s not a requirement, and you can have a happy life without it. If you feel like you are trying to use a relationship to fill a void within you, try to figure out how you can fill the void yourself first. Healthy relationships consist of two people happy with themselves, and just enjoying the company of each other as an added bonus 🙂
It’s been three years since I’ve been in a relationship, and I haven’t put myself out there because I knew there was something I needed to change before I could go again. I’ve learnt to become happier than ever and completely single, and now I can approach life and relationships relaxed and comfortable in knowing that I always have myself through all of it. And I’m only in my 20s mate. Stop being afraid and try to enjoy the journey and don’t fixate too much on the end goal, give yourself the slack you deserve and the slack I’m sure you give others. 🙂 chin up king