this will be a long post, apologies to whoever reading but some advice would be great,
me and my girlfriend are both 21, and we’ve been together for nearly 4 years, at the start (as id imagine with all relationships) the sex was constant, every time we’d see each other and it was great, it was very vanilla but that never bothered me. last year (2022), we very rarely had sex for a number of reasons:
1. we both live with parents, so we’d never get alone time till around midnight, where i was always tired and preferred the spontaneous sex we had at the start of the relationship
2. we don’t see each other every day, so when we would see each other the sex for her would be painful and unpleasant due to tightness
3. it wasn’t my go to thing to do, it might be weird, but id always prefer to hang out together and watch a film/talk rather than have sex, we don’t see each other that often and i valued that more.
throughout 2022 i was constantly on the end of blame for the lack of sex and made to feel like it was my fault, perhaps it is but there’s many reasons to why this happened, so i vowed to make things more better sexually and it just didn’t happen, plus whenever we did it always felt as if i was only having sex because of this argument which just didn’t feel natural.
the past few months ive been really trying to up my game, explore her sexual interests and fantasies and make it more fun again for the better. even though she said she had 0 kinks/fantasies i still had the aim to work at it, but she just isn’t interested at all in trying to make things better. she told me that she has 0 sex drive anymore because of how much it hurts and because of the lack of during the last year and that she isn’t interested in talking about it.
i really need help as i have 0 clue where to go from here, i thought the best way to make things better were to actually have frequent sex and explore things together, but how do i do that if she just doesn’t want to talk about and open up to me? all replies appreciated 🙂
3 comments
You need to work on rebuilding her self confidence. The lack of sex has destroyed her confidence and she’s injured from it. Shes put up a barrier to protect herself,
1. If you both wanted to have sex, you’d find a place to do it, and you’d find it fast
2. This sounds like complete BS
3. You’re 21 and not a complete horny mess? Is that even possible?
It sounds like you’ve friendzoned each other.
>she has 0 sex drive anymore because of how much it hurts
She needs to see her Dr and figure out why sex is painful for her.