Today I (27F) was suffering from a terrible migraine. I wasn’t able to lift my head from my pillow, nor was I able to work (not even work from bed on my laptop!)
I woke up did our laundry and made us a nice breakfast. Then my head started spinning at the light was bothering me so I went upstairs.
My husband (28M) (also WFH) came upstairs and saw me in bed. I told him I had a migraine.
During the day he didn’t ask me at all if I was okay, if I needed anything etc.
At around 7 he asked if I was going to his aunts house, I replied no as I couldn’t lift my head. Off he went without even looking me in my face, lol.
He came back around half 12 at night, asked me if I had eaten (???? Lol) and when I said no, He replied ‘well why not?’. I then went to the bathroom to cry at the fact that my husband doesn’t actually seem to care about me on the slightest. I didn’t even get a check up text whilst he was out lollllll.
When I came back to the room, he asked what’s wrong. I said nothing. He asked again, so I told him that it’s a bit sad that he didn’t bother checking to see if I was ok and that I actually googled whether it was normal for married men not to care when their wife is sick. I told him that I don’t feel like he likes me in the slightest or cares about me, and he told me to give it a rest.
We’ve have a rough patch in our marriage anyway, but recently things were getting better. But today, had just solidified the fact that I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t care about me.
It hurts bc when he’s not feeling well I look after him. He couldn’t even be bothered to even get me a glass of water.
I just feel a bit broken really. I honestly wish he loved me enough to care for me.
Told him I want a divorce and he agreed.
14 comments
I’d be upset too Op. I cannot imagine my husband Acting this way. It’s not okay
Edit: I’m glad you see your value and asked for a divorce, not because I believe that divorce is always the answer, I believe we should try to make it work but you cannot sacrifice your needs any longer. Plus, it takes a certain type of person to ignore their spouse when they
Are hurting or unwell. It sounds like you take care of him and you most definitely deserve someone who will take care of you too!!
Fellow migraines suffer here not everybody understands how bad migraine are and how bad we suffer. A lot of people can tend to think it’s just a headache and will be fine and we can do stuff ourselves. Has he been told how bad migraines are and the different symptoms we can have and how bad they can be?
But you definitely need to talk to him about Not checking on you because he should’ve at least asked if you were OK, if you needed anything or could he get you some food. But it has been my experience that most men do not take care of us when we are sick like we do them, they turn into babies.
I’ve been sick for days…and my husband hasn’t even asked if I’m ok. I get thatched away visiting his dad but wow. So I feel ya.
I’m hurting for you. You made his breakfast and did his laundry and he couldn’t return an ounce of kindness or compassion.
My husband is so smart and supportive in so many ways. However, he is IMO health illiterate, but I’m also a nurse so I’m probably biased. But I have to spell out to him what I’m experiencing when I’m not feeling well or he just doesn’t get it.
My boyfriend bends over backward when I have a migraine. He handles the entire house and all our pets and puts me to bed. If he acted how you have described, I would be out.
Seems like a lack of common decency in general. Work, home, group outing, it doesn’t matter if someone your in contact with is under the weather you try to at-least give them a little comfort, even if it’s just a glass of water.
Sounds like a real dickhead plus. So sorry for you. Knew someone and migranes can be very debilitating. Hope you start feeling better soon and please look forward to where ever you head 🙏🤞
i also get migraines. i cannot imagine my husband treating me this way, he always goes out of his way to be available and kind. i’m glad you’re getting a divorce, you deserve someone who will be kind and considerate to you always
Sending hugs you will find the person that is for gou
Im so sorry he married you in the first place. Hopefully he finds happiness with someone less dramatic.
Wow, I was going to say he may just be stupid, but the last sentence proves me wrong completely. Sorry about that.
Did you say anything to him? Yes, he should have checked on you- but did you ask him for help? Maybe he thought you just wanted to be left alone? I don’t know- it all depends on your history and relationship. If this is a reoccuring problem, then it’s not good. If it’s the first time, maybe a misunderstanding?
For you to ask for a divorce and him to agree there has to be a ton more stuff that’s going on- I doubt this was the only problem. Maybe just the straw that broke the camel’s back?
> Told him I want a divorce and he agreed
You have a dead marriage. Good luck going forward, and finding someone else with whom you can share your life.
I’d be upset, too. My husband is very caring, especially when I’m sick. You deserve someone who cares about you, whether you feel good or not.