Been back in the dating scene last 6 months (24M) and i kinda feel like I’ve been exploring an alien world since my last relationship. I’ve had 6 or 7 first dates, and 0 second. The dates have never been terrible- at worst sometimes boring or a going through the motions deal.
I don’t prefer dating apps but it helps for my situation until I can move. However, it feels like every match is more work than going to work. I am a big people person and love conversating, but it feels like I’m forcing people to talk. I just don’t want to hop straight into asking someone on a date as I have and it just never usually comes to fruition. I try to get their number within a week, same with planning a date or smth. I’ve tried the silent approach and the talk them up and both fail on dating apps.
Recently I’ve gotten ghosted a lot after first dates or a decent convo dies/ random unmatch.
I don’t ask about the weather and hate small talk. I usually ask about friends, family, plans, passions, music, hobbies… without feeling like a robot typing it out- I can make a convo.
Feel like I need a step back and get perspective in case I’m just doing smth wrong or making cute people bored. I myself wouldn’t want to talk just to talk but why would someone match and keep the convo going as long as they usually do then suddenly stop?
2 comments
Dating apps and gaining enough interest through text can be difficult, if your personality doesn’t come through enough, women can lose interest, and because they’re generally inundated with options, if there’s not enough intrigue it can just fizzle.
With regards to the first dates not going anywhere, the lack of interest could be from your side or theirs, and if there’s not enough of a romantic connection being built during the time you’re together, or, it’s coming across as too platonic with no sexual chemistry, this will generally result in a lack of attraction being felt.
Honestly this is pretty common. A lot of failed matches, ghosting, and no second dates are common. There’s nothing wrong with the topics you bring up