A little backstory:
We (F22 and M22) have been together for two years, we are each others first serious relationship, living together and first sexual relationship. Our relationship has been extremely great and we are so much alike. The only problem we’ve ever had was his porn addiction which caused a lack of sex a year ago, but it’s been dealt with. He is trying to recover from it and he hasn’t been watching porn for a very long time. He gave me an access to all of his devices (even the incognito) and asked me to check it from time to time so that he has a better motivation to not watch it, so I’m sure his not. We had some issues before mainly because as an addict, of course, he lied to me A LOT and destroyed my trust completely. But we have been trying to rebuild our relationship and lately it hasn’t been bad.

For the record, our sex was great, I always made sure to fulfil his fantasies, I’m also his type, tall, skinny, pretty face, big b**bies and a*s. Since he started to work on his addiction he always said that our sex is a dream come true, had a very high libido, came in seconds, and wanted to have sex every day, which we did.

Until a few days ago:
I asked him if he wanted to have sex and he immediately said “NO”. (never happened unless he watched porn, but this time he didn’t). He kept on saying no for the next few days, which I didn’t think of much. A few days later, while looking at his devices I found a google search that said “I really love my gf but I want to have sex with other women”. I politely confronted him about it and even said what I’ve been saying our entire relationship, that if he wants he can go and have sex with someone else, since we are each others firsts, I understand that the need to experiment might appear in him or in me and I don’t want it to destroy our relationship, so I might allow it.

He said he doesn’t feel like this google search and he just wanted to see what others people experience is like (yeah, sure) and said that he doesn’t know the reason why he’s not craving sex, even though he’s horny, then said that he might know the reason but he doesn’t want to talk about it. I went a little over the line and I really pushed and asked for him to tell me, I promised that whatever it is I’m not going to get mad/sad and that communication is extremely important, him not saying anything will for sure not solve the issue. I cried out of frustration, but he didn’t tell me, so I dropped it and didn’t talk about it since.

Still no sex even though everything else is pretty normal. He is showing less affection, but not none. We are spending time together and it’s still okay and fun.

Can someone tell me wtf is happening? He’s not watching porn, not cheating on me. I’m sure as I work from home and he doesn’t work at all so we spend every minute together. I know he’s been jerking off but that didn’t ever get in the way of having sex.

I hate lack of communication, I honestly can’t stand it and I think it’s stupid AF, so it’s kinda driving me crazy and he knows about it.

And if you’re reading this BF, please don’t get mad, I don’t want to talk bad about you, I just have no idea what happened and I’m curious what other people might think about it.

TLDR; My boyfriend doesn’t want to have sex with me and it appears he wants to have sex with other women, but when I suggested that maybe he actually could do it, he refused. I don’t know what is going on.

2 comments
  1. Communication is key in any relationship. He needs to be honest with you about what’s going on.

  2. I know you are concerned, but giving someone pass to sleep with other women would fix the issue. Issue aside for a moment, are you truly prepared for what could mean for outsiders to come into your space in the relationship. Would you want the some liberties of being with someone else too? It can open thought on both ends. Your BF may be just trying to seeking how to be in control instead of letting his hormones control and lead him. I’m guessing, but give him time to talk about. It just might be too much for him to speak about at the moment. Just let him know you’re that for him.

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