Over the last couple years, I’ve managed to go on 5+ dates with a few women. Each time, I thought things were going well only to get the “you’re a great guy, but” speech 1-2 months into dating.
Looking back, in every case I initiated all the texts and planned all the dates. The other party paid their half and made for pleasant company (and sometimes kissing), but it always felt like I was giving more than I was receiving.
I understand that a “quid pro quo” relationship is unhealthy in the long run, but given my disappointing experiences I feel I need to stop putting as much efforts into dates if I feel things are imbalanced early on.
In your successful relationships, in the beginning stages of dating (1-2 months), did it feel like one party was “chasing” the other, or did the effort feel balanced from the get-go?
2 comments
There shouldn’t be any chasing involved. There has to be mutual effort right from the start. If there isn’t, it’s not worth investing time into.
I mean… if your chasing something usually it’s because its running away from you…