I’ve had sex with a few guys now who will often during sex say, “I’ve got you, I’ve got you”. or “I got you” – So not as in, “you’re mine” but as in, “I’m here and I’ve got you.” (Something like that anyway.)

I think it is meant to be supportive and holding and protective and masculine, but I don’t get what compels them to say this sexually or how it is sexual? I just have flashbacks to being a kid and having some grown up hold me while I’m crying and saying, “don’t worry, I’ve got you.”

Is this a thing I didn’t know was a thing? Is there some guide book they are reading that says to say this?

I told one guy I was with that that phrase just made me feel like a child, but I’m curious what the motivation for saying this during sex is, and if it’s common?

(The men were in their 30s or 40s – I’m late 30s)

7 comments
  1. Could be that they never developed supportive of intimate language and are falling back on the most recent model for those behaviors — being parented. I think it’s also very common for men to support other men experiencing emotional anguish with “I’ve got you” (usually followed by “bro”).

    In other words, I would take it to mean that they’re trying to communicate an emotion that they don’t know how to recognize.

  2. I would simply take it to mean that they are encouraging me to let go and get out of my head. Ie “don’t worry or stress about the position, the noises, the strength for whatever you’re doing, just relax and enjoy – I’ve got you. I’m not gonna let anything happen other than pleasure” kind of vibes.

  3. Someone has told them the (true) fact that it vastly helps a woman to orgasm if she feels safe and secure. It would actually turn me on… but they’re possibly being a bit literal

  4. That’s soooooo hot IMO but I also have no memories of that from childhood which I guess would be a little freaky

  5. For me (35/M) this is usually in lead up to my SO having an orgasm. Followed up with something along the lines of “cum for me” or “it’s OK, let it all out”

  6. For me (35/M) this is usually in lead up to my SO having an orgasm. Followed up with something along the lines of “cum for me” or “it’s OK, let it all out”

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