We were cuddling in bed and the mood was nice and romantic. She was on top of me and my phone was on the bedside. I got a notification and her face suddenly changed saying that “your mom texted you – your grandfather died”. I was just shocked and couldn’t process the bad news. Quickly after she saw my reaction she said it was a joke.
My grandfather is in his 80s and not in the best shape, and a while ago I dreamt in my sleep that he died. I told her about this dream then and she must’ve remembered how important he is for me.
I told her this is a stupid joke and she destroyed the mood. She apologized but I don’t feel like she understands what she’s just done.
I’m not sure how to handle this as it’s not the first time she did me wrong
Edit: we’ve been together for 1 year and 2 months
TL;DR: GF jokingly told me my grandfather died.
14 comments
Hmmm… how long have you been together?
I’ve told some tactless jokes in my time, not quite as bad as that but I’ve said something and immediately regretted it.
It’s the lack of remorse that is troubling. If you’re early days and this type of behaviour is common from her, I’d probably end the relationship.
So she’s a cruel idiot. At least you learned this lesson now. What you decide to do about it is up to you, but I’d be done. I don’t have the room in my life for people like that.
Can you specify what you mean by “not the first time she’s done me wrong?” What other sorts of things has she done?
Some things you just don’t joke about. If she can’t understand that what she did was horribly wrong, then there’s something seriously wrong with her and you need to reconsider your relationship with her.
It was a bad joke. I don’t think you need to dig too much deeper into it that that. I imagine she feels pretty stupid for making it, so that’s probably “punishment” enough for her.
This isn’t something I’d leave someone over, unless it’s part of a pattern of behavior, which it sounds like it’s not.
End the relationship.
Anyone who can think something like that is a joke is not worth your time or energy.
The fact that she bad a bad joke and all of the other things you’ve listed in a comment, do not move in with her!! You should re-examine this relationship entirely and decide if you want to be with someone who makes a shitty joke and just tears you down.
Sigh. DTMFA. She is not a keeper and things aren’t going to get easier if you move in together.
You just learned an important fact about your girlfriend: She is capable of sheer, unrepentant cruelty.
I feel like being together that long she should know your sense of humor better.
It was insensitive though and besides your post, your comments mention a ton of red flags. Pump the breaks on moving in and maybe reevaluate this relationship and what you’re getting out of it. Because an equal and caring partner does not seem to be one of those things.
It is not your job to fix her, appease her or even stay with her. You can and will do better.
Really weird and mean person.
She’s cruel and enjoys in your torment. Why are you with her? Dump her and find someone less psychotic.
that’s just cruel