For some background, I met 2 of these friends at university and lived with them both for nearly two years. The other I have known since high school.
Friend 1 has planned a “Dungeons and Dragons”* night and has invited my partner and not me. I introduced my friends to my boyfriend several years ago and we have all hung out and socialised together countless times.
My boyfriend is a lovely guy, very funny and likeable, he also makes friends easily.** I am not as sociable, I’m autistic and struggle in social situations, but I’ve never struggled around anyone that has been invited to this evening. They’ve all told me on several occasions that they find me funny and enjoyable to be around, but in the last 6 months or so I’ve been overlooked on pretty much every social occasion. Last time I was around these friends, they kept speaking about time they’ve spent together recently (a Christmas dinner, several parties, etc) none of which I was invited to or knew about until they slipped up.
I’ve had a rough year, had some serious health issues that resulted in me being a bit wrapped up in my own head for a couple months but they were really understanding. Since I’ve recovered and it’s no longer the latest ‘gossip’ it feels like they want nothing to do with me.
They will hang out with me if I am the one who plans everything, but they often cancel or take a long time to respond.
I’ve been going over and over what could be wrong with me, I’m always generous and caring and I still love my friends despite how they’ve treated me. I can only think that it’s either due to my autism, or due to me being overweight so they’re embarrassed to be seen with me.
Sorry for such a long post, it’s a bit of a ramble because I’m upset. Thanks in advance for any advice.
TLDR; my friends haven’t included me in plans for months and I don’t know what to do.
*no one invited has played D&D before, and neither have I
**my boyfriend had mentioned to them that I feel left out and has been very supportive
2 comments
Well, are you fun to be around? Like, if you don’t play D&D or you are tense when you do, they might not think of you as a logical participant.
Did your boyfriend accept the invitation?
Reading other comments, I see you plan to invite them to some partying and what not. Keep in mind however, if they are set on distancing themselves from you, it is not something you can change. If this ends up being the case you will have no choice, but to seek other friends for yourself.