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1. Been on 4 dates with this guy over 3 months due to mutual travel, made out starting 2nd date, 3rd went to his place after and made out clothes off on bed, on date 4 some weird things happened. He knows i move super slow as I broke off a 7 year relationship/am and never kissed outside a relationship. Last time he changed from “open to anything” to “relationship is low priority” but that he feels a strong emotional connection with me. First weird thing is during kissing he accidentally said ‘i love you’ his voice went lower when he said you, and he didn’t acknowledge at all, so i think it was just an accident based on his happiness of moment. During date we did clothes off and he had touched me, keeping to all my boundaries super well and super kind. but then at end of date he said i should play with him now. I said i wasn’t ready and didn’t know him well enough yet (I think i was just off guard by fact he doesn’t text much in between dates, revealed he likes shooting/hunting and im a vegan, and some things that he said that implied he’d prefer all dates to be near one of our places for private time after) but he kept saying that i indeed was ready and i’m a grown woman. I then agreed to over the pants, but did dirty talk to make up for the lameness which accidentally gave wrong impression that i wanted to suck his dick. He kept saying please please just suck me a little please just one suck, I said i’m not ready back and forth. Finally he apologized but said the misunderstanding was because i literally said this as part of dirty talk, which I agree. Anyway, unlike all other dates, he didn’t make any plan to see me again at end, and didn’t text until next day just a great to see you. no plans for weekend, so its clearly over given how in past he’s re-arranged major travel dates to see me during times when we were on/off in town and arranged dates a week in advance. now we’re both in town, and nothing. i feel heartbroken and wish i just would have given him head. i like him so much i just froze up in the moment. I’ve never touched someone besides my ex. i think he just saw if in 3 months i wouldn’t give him a proper handjob, pursuing me was no longer exciting/didn’t make him feel good about himself. i made it horrible and awkward and now its over 🙁

2. Bittersweet day today. My travel nurse girlfriend is heading back home. This was the first time I went into a relationship, knowing there would be an end date. This is my first relationship that didn’t end in conflict or breakup. I will miss her and everything we did together very much.

   But she helped me grow. I learned more about, and had a new experience in, boundaries. She provided some new perspectives on past and future relationships. She also provided me a travel experience I likely never will have another opportunity to do. In 10 weeks, we never argued, were intimate, and cared for each other deeply. I will be able to look back on her and always smile – not just on the good things, but on everything.

   Now, for a pause in dating while I navigate getting laid off recently.

3. I am in my fastest moving situation to date. Met a guy literally a week ago.

   Things have been good. Honestly haven’t felt such ease with someone in a while. Last night while texting me he asked “What are your plans with dating me” to which I responded with “Let’s have this conversation over a phone call.” He called and we talked for over an hour. Made plans to spend the weekend together and even plans for my birthday which is in April.

   I haven’t felt this much calm yet excitement over someone in a bit. I have been hesitant to tell my friends about him because I am scared of things going burst but last night I simply texted one of my friends “ I met a guy” told her about him and she’s happy that I met someone.

   So far so good and I’m very excited about getting to know him and the prospects

4. On a recommendation from my therapist, I’m (35m) going to try speed dating. I do vastly better with in person interactions than OLD, and I think it will be a good opportunity to put myself out there and meet people even if I don’t make a romantic connection.

   Anyone have experience, tips, etc for me?

5. Feelikg uneasy about certain developments this week: I think my gf is concealing her schizophrenia, or at least is schizo-affective.. Her sibling and her brother in law, both medical professionals, explained it over a phone call to me. I will be seeing and talking about it with her tomorrow.

   If she outright lies about it tomorrow, does the “one shot at the king” rule applies?

6. Feel like I keep getting catfished. Men that want to chat about their deepest darkest and share their soul, but want to wait to meet “for the right time.” Sorry I don’t give out my number till after our first meeting should apply. Ugh OLD.

7. So I know and accept that men like to date younger women. But I feel like this trend is stronger in the 40+ age range? I’m 41 (f) and it seems like guys in their 50s put in way more effort. I am trying to meet a guy closer to my own age as 50+ just seems like too much. But I don’t meet many men in their early 40s and the ones I do are not great.

8. I’ve been seeing a guy from OLD and so far he’s been showing nothing but green flags. I told him I prefer to take things slow and that is what he’s been doing. It feels weird experiencing this after encountering men who weren’t taking the initiatives to plan dates or wanting to be sexual right from the first date or not taking a no. I was worried that he was putting up an act, but so far he seems very genuine, so I decided to just enjoy whatever is happening and to not worry about things that might not even happen.

9. I have date number 5 with the man I have been seeing tonight which is a gig where he lives.

10. Confirmed the girl i’m talking to is talking to other men yesterday, but she also commented i’m very high priority out of all the guys atm. Guess that’s a win? Being probably leader or close to leader of the pack?

11. Feeling a bit disconnected from the guy I’ve been seeing. He’s a great communicator about everything except anything related to sex or intimacy. I think it may have to do with performance anxiety so I’ve been trying to take any pressure or expectation of sex off the table and waiting to see if he’s comfortable talking about it. I’m very open and have tried to talk about sex a couple times to learn more about what he likes but he shuts down. At this point I’m feeling the disconnect because I can’t find a way to have this conversation without me feeling like I *am* putting pressure on him or making a possible insecurity worse. I would be happy to just cuddle or hold hands and not do any sexual activity because I really like him and am very attracted to him. But the lack of talking about it is making me feel some type of way, like we can’t connect on that level and I really want to. I just don’t know how to get there.

12. Started to notice that by the time someone is interested in me, I’m less interested in return. I’m just way too susceptible to women who play hard to get, or are otherwise emotionally unavailable. 😒

    (I had a perfect upbringing. In case you were wondering, lol. I do have low self-esteem however, and I think that’s the main driver in this. 🤷)

13. I kind of want my friends to stop hyping me up when it comes to dating/guys. I know that they love me very much but it’s giving me a false, brief sense of assurance that is starting to be detrimental.

    I have incredibly low self-esteem and self-worth, but I’m also aware enough to realise that the way I perceive myself is filtered through this lens and may not be entirely accurate.

    So when they tell me I should ask a guy out or that I’m hot enough to approach him I listen. But it’s never worked out in my favour, and I just end up feeling worse and with even more evidence that I’m not desirable. Guys don’t approach me, I don’t have luck on dating apps, and I don’t have luck when I make the first move either.

    I wish they’d either stop hyping me up or I was able to explain to them in a non self-deprecating way that it’s pointless for me to try and hit someone up.