I’m a sophomore in college and these past two semesters I’ve been trying to make up for time lost from the pandemic. But now I feel like I’m never going to find anyone. People on here have said college is my one opportunity to find someone and after college it gets a lot more difficult and Im In college now and just not finding anyone. I’ve tried putting myself out there, I’ve tried pushing myself to meet as many people as I can but it’s given me so many anxiety attacks. I feel like I should just drop the idea I am capable of finding love all together and just focus solely on my career. I want to find someone so bad but this is just so exhausting and dejecting.
21 comments
Focus on your study and career
To be honest I think the advice of trying to find a partner in college is dated now. I know plenty of boomers that were able to do that. But nowadays ladies aren’t restricted to dating on their campuses and often come to college with committed relationships or star them outside of school or they are in they’re fun phase and not looking to settle down. Let me ask are you a guy or gal?
Do you have a good social life otherwise? Spend time with good people, chase good things, and if someone can keep up introduce yourself. Find someone that you’re comfortable being around, college is a great opportunity and theres still plenty of time left for you, but I (24) am like many people who are single still. It happens, it sucks but, such is life. I dated in college too.
Let your story be your story, and remember “theres no lonelier feeling than sleeping in a king sized bed next to someone who you can’t talk to about the deepest things of life.”
You’re putting a lot of pressure on yourself. Maybe see a doctor about your anxiety. Take it easy and just meet people. You’re making the goal the game. Don’t do that. Enjoy the journey and just meet people!
No LOL. College isn’t the end of your chance of meeting people to date. Where did you get this idea?
Sounds like dating is not in your favor and you’re burning yourself out. Take a break but still put yourself out there. Just dial it down. I assure you a lot people meet after college.
You really underestimate how much life exists outside of college.
Just have fun living your life, the less you worry about meeting someone the greater chance you’ll meet the right person. People are often drawn to those “living” their lives as long as you don’t close yourself off. You will be fine, you still have plenty of time.
I was the same way in college. Its not a bad thing. You never know where you’ll find the person who’s worth it but never never lower your standards. Sometimes its okay to just focus on yourself and find happiness within yourself. Crazy thing is you may find you don’t even want to date when you make yourself your priority instead of a significant other
You have to give it time – long term relationships are not like hookups, they can take time to find. Focus on your studies, find some hobbies and just try to be happy. You are still in collage, you have all the time in the world.
Chin up. Everyone’s on their own path, and you need to be happy with yourself first before you can be happy with anyone else. If college is the highlight of your life then you’re a loser. Don’t let all of the drunk fratbros and sorority chicks tell you otherwise. You’re on the right track pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, it just takes time.
Just from your final sentence “I want to find someone so bad” seems like you have some core confidence issues you need to work on. It reeks of desperation. As a chick I’m sure you’ve come across and immediately rejected super needy nice guys. Well that goes both ways. Dudes don’t like desperation either.
Don’t just focus on your career, focus on your life. Fix yourself and put your best foot forward. I promise you things will come into place.
If you go for male dominated career then you would be able to find guy with traits you are looking for, despite reddit “dont date in job policy”. If you have good social life then “use” your friends to invite their single friends to some bigger bbq or birthday with no preasure from you and guys side, some then you and some guy click with no special push like blind/double date or any too small event
Depends on your college, I had guy fuming st me saying nobody has time to be dating in uni and how dare my experience be completely different. Idk, I managed to get laid with a new partner about once a year despite my lifestyle being voluntary quarantine, basically. The issue is most likely time. In college you can set up your time and you can find time to date, but if you study hard major like medicine you have next to zero free time usually. That’s Also why these majors tend to feature a lot of relationships.and sex inside major, people you study with are the only people you meet.
After college you have to work that means you can no longer set your own pace of work or time, you get home exhausted and the last thing you want is to pretend you are interested in someone elses life. It’s not that it’s harder after college it’s harder once people stop being desperate for connecting. Because we need that desperation to overcome natural barriers and exhaustion of our lives.
Focus on college. It’s a once in a lifetime chance for you to get a really great education, make life long friends and have a great time. Don’t ruin it by wasting it all dating. You’re young and the right person will come along whilst you’re living your college life to the fullest and having a blast.
😂 Dating is supposed to be about trying different people to see what you enjoy about them. Chill. You have plenty of time to find a good one and build a relationship together.
*”People on here have said college is my one opportunity to find someone and after college it gets a lot more difficult and Im In college now and just not finding anyone.”*
Whoever is telling you that has misled you. You have PLENTY of time to find someone. Don’t stress yourself out about it. There are no set timelines for finding love.
Not true. I actually found it more difficult to find someone during college actually. I had my best luck after college and found my forever person at 27.
The best way to resolve your dating “problem” is to stop making it a problem. Concentrate on your studies. Make connections with the right people, join the clubs, get involved in student activities, and stop worrying about finding a LTR.
You are in college to make the kinds of connections that will help you in your career after you get out. Nothing more.
College guys are not interested in women who are looking to get their Mrs. degree. I don’t know why people say it was different in the past…it was never different in the past.
Stop beating yourself up over this, just go with the flow and concentrate on the really important things. I did not have my first serious relationship until I was almost 30. But it does happen. Just become the best version of YOU that you can be, and someone will eventually recognize that.
Have you hit the gym? Are you acting super needy? Are you making friends?
When it ceases to be fun, take a break. Take as long as it takes for you to get excited about dating again. I’ve met people who clearly were jaded and exhausted, I have been that person too, and it is just the wrong mindset to go into new meetups with. Dating burnout is real. Recharge and then give it a go again!
You are putting way too much pressure on yourself with this timeline you’ve got yourself on. I don’t know who is telling you that college is your one opportunity to meet someone, but that is scarcity thinking, and complete bullshit. Relax, take a deep breath. You’ve got plenty of time to find someone. People meet their life partners at every age. There is no deadline.
Dating is supposed to be fun, but when we tell ourselves we have to meet someone by a certain time, or any other “should,” we turn it into a chore and something to dread.
Just enjoy meeting people for the sake of meeting people. Eventually, you’ll find someone you’re compatible with that you want to keep getting to know. But you’ve gotta take all this pressure off yourself and let yourself have fun.