What if someone is into me (30, gender fluid AFAB), and they are a lovely person (there are several, 45f, 28f) but I don’t feel attraction? But then I feel attraction for other people (25f, 30f). Am I messed up? Is attraction dictated by the subconscious programming we have received from society about what is attractive? Is it dictated by my attachment style and therefore I am attracted only to those who are unavailable? Anyone else have thoughts on this?
tl;dr wondering if I’ll ever find someone naturally that just feels right
2 comments
Are you trying to say that you should be interested in 100% of the people of the world who happen to be interested in you? Because that’s just ridiculous.
You cannot control who you are attracted to. There are *many* factors to attraction, including physical attributes, subconscious social cues, pheromones, and others.
If you only find yourself feeling attracted to people who are unavailable, there *might* be a psychological component to it as well; perhaps you are (for whatever reason) risk-averse or even phobic, and so you consider unavailable people “safe” to be attracted to, because you know nothing can happen and therefore they cannot hurt you; this would be something to explore with a counselor or therapist, because it’s a much more involved subject than you’re going to be able to properly explore on a Reddit thread.