Hi Reddit!
I sometimes get a little anxious because I just turned 30 and I am still a virgin. It just didn’t happen yet, as I focused on my education and career, and then I was always self-conscious about being a virgin from when I was like 22 onwards (which seems ridiculous to me now).
I am considered a very attrative woman and I usually have good social skills, so it’s not like nobody was ever interested in me – I was just a bit insecure about being a virgin.
How should I go on about this? What’s your general consensus here, is it really that big of a problem as I make it out to be?
13 comments
Not really a problem at all
Being a virgin is not a problem but having no experience in a relationship at your age would be a problem.
One of my spouses was a 29 y.o. virgin when we got together. They thought they might be asexual as they just hadn’t really been interested in sex up until that point. Now they identify as demi-sexual. We’ve been together nearly 7 years now. They were just up front and honest about it and it never was a big deal or issue.
It’s going to depend on whomever you’re with. Being a virgin would be a problem for me. As others have shown, it wouldn’t be a problem for them. Be upfront about it with anyone you think you’re interested in and beware of the guys that don’t see value in you outside of your virginity.
Look, everyone here is gonna give you bogus body positivity and false confidence that ends up being more harm than help in the long run. No, being a virgin is not a bad thing, you’ve had opportunities and decided against them. However, most people I’ve met (usually aged 25+) say they don’t want any kind of relationship with a virgin because they get super weird, clingy, possessive, sex obsessed, and/or psychotic after finally popping that cherry and realizing the world of sex and what it has to offer. By age 30 the real world opinion (so not “feel good” comments online) has already become “that means something’s wrong with them if they haven’t even been able to get laid”, and that opinion generally worsens the more years that go by. Your first should be someone you care about, but chances are they’ve had enough sex like most other people to see it as just a fun thing to do, preferably with a partner they actually want to hang out with afterwards, and they’re not going to have the same sudden world expanding view that you will have.
It really will depend on the guy. Are you worried about a relationship or just looking to have a sexual experience?
If you find a guy that is genuinely decent and not just looking to take your virginity, it should not be an issue at all. If I cared about the person, I would want it to be a good experience for both of us.
I think it cool. When you are ready, go for it.
It might be a problem for some people,and those are people you probably won’t want to date/have sex with.
No stay clean girl
I think because you’re a woman, men will find this to be a good thing, not a bad thing. That’s assuming you’re into men…
No problem at all.
Being a virgin isn’t but your lack of sexual experience at your age could be. If you find a partner who’s willing to be patient and communicate with you, then you’ll be fine.
Make sure you don’t find someone that has a virgin kink and uses you. Many would put some effort in and may go quite far to pop your cherry and break your heart. You didn’t say how much experience you have with relationships and other sexual activities, if that’s none then you may struggle, but it won’t take long to get caught up.
you need to be open honest ready to learn and decide if you want to get rid of your virginity and start a active sex life or if you want to look for a similar like minded person to strike up a relationship and lose it together either way I’m sure your mature enough to know its not like the movies and be arkward and embarrassing but this sub will give you advice on how to give and receive pleasure.