I (f23) need advice to how to get my boyfriend (m25) to do housework. I do absolutely everything. dishes, laundry, folding/ hanging laundry, cleaning bathrooms, vacuuming etc. I have been sick the last week & not one thing was done. He has two jobs I ask him to do every 3 days which is taking out the garbage & recycling. None of this has been getting done even while being sick. We have a dog together & i have to clean the house 2x more because of the dog which he had before he met me. I clean all of his stuff it’s getting very tiring & repetitive, I’ve never nagged him about cleaning before but I don’t understand why I have to do ALL of it. When I am off of work most of my days are spent cleaning. At work I also clean as I work in a restaurant, I feel like my entire life is cleaning & it sucks ): I just want to know how I can get him to do small things for me to help me out.
4 comments
You don’t have a boyfriend you have a giant child.
He doesn’t have a girlfriend he has a mother substitute.
I would start by not doing any more of his laundry. This is an easy one to make him notice that you’re not doing, and an easy one to stick to as it doesn’t affect you in the least.
Cleaning is harder because it’s common areas so it affects you too.
You’re just going to have to sit him down and tell him that if he doesn’t start treating you like a partner and respecting what you do for him, that you will consider moving out.
Divide up the chores equally and print out a schedule and put it somewhere he will notice and make him tick off when he has done his each day. You’re going to have to train him as you would a child who gets stars for doing their homework or cleaning g their room.
Good luck. You’re probably going to need it.
You can’t get him to change (and taking on the mental load of reminding him to clean is like doing a whole additional other job). I would tell him that if he doesn’t start pulling his weight you’re leaving.
You are not living with a man, but a man sized baby. Stop being his mother, leave. He won’t change.
Learn the power of the word “no”…. It’s the most powerful word in the world!