I’m a big guy, gentle giant and a lot of times people find out I won’t do anything to stand up for myself and they abuse that. It’s always guys way smaller than me too. It’s gotten to the point where I’ve stored up so much anger and I want to fight them. Obviously I’m not going to strike first because I know better. But lets say they strike me first, I feel like whatever I do in return will be considered unreasonable force just because I’m way bigger than them and my angers just been messing with my head a lot lately and I don’t know how to get rid of it, I feel like either way, they win
41 comments
I would examine the situations you put yourself in to where you are constantly around assholes. If this is happening frequently enough to cause this sort of issue, maybe it’s time to adjust your behaviors a bit. Go to different places, hang out with different people, etc.
Where are you going that you are seeing this? I am 6’6 and 240 and never see this. Likely a lot older than you as well. But when it comes to self defense within the US size is normally not a consideration. One has the right to defend themselves from an assault. If it is words then if talking it out does nothing then you’ve got to find a way to avoid that situation or group of people.
Open hand chest shove, hard enough to make them stumble backwards. Then walk away
If you are an adult, might I suggest not being a God damn idiot and avoiding street fights at all costs. If you lose, you spend time in the hospital. Win, and you could very well be looking at 3-7 years. Just move away from idiots.
No matter your size, it’s vital for every man to be able to handle himself.
Imagine these guys doing that to Tyson Fury, a behemoth who could flinch and knock their heads off on accident.
You have a lot of power, but need some martial arts experience.
As a martial artist, you’re confident to resolve the situation at whatever level of severity you want.
I’ve known gentle giants, and it’s a good way to be, but you ABSOLUTELY still need to defend yourself.
you’re best off diffusing a situation, if they hit you first and you need to defend yourself that’s one thing, but if you actively try to injure them after that, then you’ll get in trouble.
What do you mean when you say you won’t stand up for yourself? are people trying to bully you into fighting with them?
I’d try to just remove myself from that situation or rise above it. I’m a big guy and I’ll never actively look for trouble, but I’ll always stand up for myself if somebody’s acting like a dick to me.
A big part that is neglected when people teach self-defense is that of the law.
It is possible to claim self-defense but very difficult to prove in a court, and you may find yourself tied up in lengthy court battles with the prosecution.
Being aware of your size and strength is a good first step. Be aware of the law in your state/territory and what may or may not constitute actual bodily harm or grievous bodily harm. You can respond in kind, but it’s that very fine line and what the law determines what you would be permitted and not permitted to do.
One of the best courses of action is to simply walk away. If that’s not possible, defuse and try to put a physical barrier between yourself and the assailant. Take every opportunity you can to get out before it becomes physical.
A final thing that can help is to always be in a place with cameras. CCTV or just the general public around. The CCTV can help prove your argument that you took all reasonable steps to avoid conflict.
It’s hard to ignore people who want to fight, especially if they try to follow you and continue provoking you. But if you have some basic understanding of self-defense law then you may get an idea for how you can respond in kind. You don’t need to be a lawyer to find the legislation.
Just bear hug- pick them up and carry them outside then close the door.
Or put them in the trash bin.
Look up your country’s laws on self defense.
Maybe take a self defense training course, you’ll learn exactly what is and isn’t OK to do, how to de-escalate things when someone is being violent towards you, and you’ll learn some tips on safety and self-control as well.
I found that if you train to fight in BJJ or Muay Thai it changes the way you present yourself in the world.
Once you learn how to fight, people just seem to know and don’t start stuff.
Just because someone is big doesn’t mean they can fight.
If anything big people with low confidence attract people that want to try to prove how “tough” they are.
Well, all the rage is something you just have to control. But one punch to the solar plexus should deal with the majority of small men. They go down in a heap because they are small. I mean, there’s a reason why lightweight boxers don’t fight heavyweight boxers. Ditto for MMA. Just the difference in power and strength is something they cannot imagine. It’s like when you were 8 and wanted to wrestle your Dad.
Now, once you knock them down, you can’t climb on and start beating them. That’s when you go to jail. But one shot to the solar plexus if they started it? They’re not dead, they don’t have any cuts or a busted nose, no broken eye sockets………they just got the wind knocked out of them. I highly doubt a cop is going to arrest you for that.
And I get it…..small men can be annoying that way. They get away with it because they’re small and people take them about as seriously as two teenage girls fighting on TikTok.
And it’s overall good to be a gentle giant. If you’re a large man, you’ll find that people just get freaked out if you go around being intense and aggressive. People don’t like it because they know you could probably pull the arms and legs off everyone in the room before the police show up to stop you. But the litle 140 pound dude? Lol….he could give someone a black eye, but that’s about it. It’s like a small yap dog when they act tough.
make it one slap. Should be enough to bring across the message and a slap ultimately is not you ramming your siege-weapon sized fist into his head to redesign his face.
Also and before anything else, find a proper valve to release stress and this is not about smaller guys trying to act tough, it’s about everything that can become annoying. Having a non-destructive way to deal with pressure is a valuable tool or people will eventually notice that they can send you over the edge by just accumulating anger in you.
6ft 220lb bodybuilder here, I can’t fight for shit… but dudes like to test the jacked dude at the bar occasionally. I dead ass carry pepper spray… why fight when you don’t have too… just carry around the Spicy sauce for your next encounter
Don’t strike first.
If someone messes with me being 6’4” 240 lbs
I look them in the eye and tell them “think about what you’re going to do and rethink it”
They usually back down.
I would grab whatever closest (preferably a watermelon) and I would crush it between my hands…. Or just start beating on it, whatever it is to show them how crazy you are lol
Sounds like you just really want to fight to blow off steam. Just pick a fight with a guy your size.
I’m a big guy too, but don’t need to blow off steam. When i was young I’d go to bars and rarely this would happen to me.
I’d look them in the eye and say “no” and “bad” like i was talking to my dog. They generally gor embarrassed and walked away.
Once they strike first, you have 15 minutes of temporary insanity to get away with whatever you do, and self-defense laws takes it from there (assuming you live in one of the good states, not one of the ones that punish you for not wanting to be a victim).
That aside, disconnect from those that are being abusive. You’re an adult, so you’re not forced to interact with anyone you don’t want to. If they try (to either interact or your patience), you have full rights to either ignore them completely or tell the little gnats to go away. You can easily stand up for yourself without resorting to violence, or even the threat of force. Say no, tell them exactly why they’re insufferable, then turn your back on them. You are under no obligation to be polite to anyone whom you don’t deem worthy of respect.
Remember Peter, with great power comes great burden of not using it
Stop going to shitty bars that allow this kind of behavior. Let the douchebags hang at the douchebag bar.
Finger or thumb jab to the eyes. Punch to the throat. Open palm slap to side of the head. Grab your attacker by the jacket and knee to the groin. Any of these alone or in combination should get the job done.
stop putting yourself in these situations. take up some sort of combat sport or something.
and maybe therapy, idk.
Walk away.
If it gets physical, wrestling, or Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Take them to the ground and control them. Worst case scenario, put them to sleep and get away. No one has their face bashed in, so it’s an easier self-defense case for cops/juries.
First it’s a fight. So whatever time you get will most likely be measured in months depending on where you are and whether or not you tore his arms off. I’d say kick his ass and deal with the consequences. Who knows maybe you’ll get lucky and knock him out in one go
Listen here bud, there are some men in this world that sadly you have to give them an ass whooping for them to respect you. Plain simple. If they keep taunting, you and pressing your buttons they are the type that need to be punched in the face. Am I telling you to do that? No. Should you if you have no choice? 100% Everyone is telling you to avoid or not to but that’s not how the real-world works. They will continue to look for you as long as they think they won’t find you. You hold as long as you can’t anymore. Some things in life are simply inevitable.
Adopt the mindset that you accept what they feel about you. Let it go. Idiots will be idiots, you don’t need to persuade them anything. Chill with it. Also don’t interact with them go no contact.
Its a clue to their character and it’s not about you. It’s about them.
Don’t engage with it it will only fuel them, and if other people is around they end up looking like the idiots in their eyes, they will be taken as the ones at fault instead of you if you come across as calm reasonable and polite.
Skip the illusion that you will be able to change the abusers minds. They’re likely unreasonable people.
I can relate. Try and see if you can fuxk their wife.
Whatever you do, do NOT hit, kick, stomp, whatever when they’re on the ground and do NOT pursue if they try to run/get away. That is when it goes from self defense to assault/worse. If they stay on their feet and don’t run/try to retreat, it’s fair game to beat their ass and self defense.
I use my booming voice. Stops 99% of aggression. .9% gets the stop hand signal. .1% gets the forearm. I don’t want to kill you friend.
As Jocko Willink once said, If I ever get into a situation like that I will simply run away. Nothing good comes from street fight.
Big guy here as well punch one the rest will fold
to be considered self defense, you have to prove that you yourself, or someone you are protecting was in immediate danger. take a breath, step back, and re evaluate the people whom you associate with.
i suggest you start putting that anger to good use. try some jitz, judo, and muay thai. if your up for it add some boxing classes in there. when you start doing these things as an outlet it really helps you to understand the ability the human body has. it makes you look at hitting someone or hurting someone in a different light. it makes you ALOT more comfortable just walking away. AS men we usually worry about our pride, that shouldnt be the case.
the first time you take a jitz class or a muay thai class and a dude ( or chick ) half your size beats the shit outta you. you quickly re evaluate your thought process.
plus… its a great workout, and at least for me i wanted to fight others alot less after actually learning how to defend myself.
There is no honour in a street fight, and there certainly are no rules. Don’t get involved in one, you’re no idiot and you have more than enough to lose, your dignity, your wellbeing, your freedom, your mental peace, your time, just to name a few.
Your first form of defense should always be your feet.
If someone wants to fight you, run.
If you can’t get away, then you fight with everything you have, like your life depends on it, because it just well might.
6’4 280 Here. You sound young, why are people trying to fuck with you. When I was younger there was a couple douchey friends with Napoleon Complexes who would try and aggravate me. When you get into your late 20’s people tend to grow up and stop trying to pick on bigger people to feel tough.
That being said, don’t be so concerned about who hit who first, cops don’t really care, they’re more concerned about an altercation occurring in the first place. If someone you don’t know is bothering you and saying rude shit and getting close. Don’t wait for them to hit you, deck them, punch right through their jaw line. I’m just like you, peaceful gentle giant, that being said, don’t let people walk over you.
6’5” 250 lifter here. Smile at them and say “ok little buddy” condescendingly. And like someone else said, carry pepper spray. Also, think about seeing a counselor for help with the anger. I have a very similar problem and counseling helps.
You didn’t ask for this but for future reference and future things that anger you…
[https://arcadiancounseling.com/5-ways-to-deal-with-anger-in-the-moment/#:~:text=5%20Ways%20To%20Deal%20With%20Anger%20In%20The,about%20you%20…%205%20Use%20%E2%80%9CI%E2%80%9D%20statements%20](https://arcadiancounseling.com/5-ways-to-deal-with-anger-in-the-moment/#:~:text=5%20Ways%20To%20Deal%20With%20Anger%20In%20The,about%20you%20…%205%20Use%20%E2%80%9CI%E2%80%9D%20statements%20)
Don’t put yourself in those situations bro. If every time you go out you almost end up fighting you’re probably hanging with the wrong crowd anyway. I know how it is with drunk dudes tryna start shit but imagine you knock the block off a guy and he hits his head and now you’re doing hard time over some bullshit. It’s not worth it man, glad you decided to look for advice instead of letting your head get to you. Good luck!
Avoid toxic ppl.. become emotionally strong so you always go to bed with a smile on your face. the hardest thing in life is dealing with people. Sharpen your mind because it is only your perception that matters. Yhe best fighters I know have NEVER gotten into an actual fight.. there is no need to.. dont worry about ego or being tough or soft.. do not let weak minded ppl control your behavior
I’m 5’10 250lbs, I have a black belt in Tae Kwon do and have trained in other various martial arts.
just because I can fight doesn’t mean I want to.
the only advice I have for you is to remove yourself from any situation in which you feel like violence may occur.
there is no honor in a street fight, there is nothing wrong with walking away
Thank you! All of you. I was thinking about it too much and had a moment of weakness and anger yesterday. I appreciate yall