I wonder why do people so often stay married instead of deciding to live alone, which would certainly be healthier.
I can understand they can try to do it “for kids” (actually not at all as a child of parents with really bad relationship, it would have been much better when they had divorced when i was young), also maybe it’s not easy with loans, liabilities, shame in front of family n stuff people care, but still, isn’t it worth living normal life without person, who was close to you and now you’re acting like strangers with no connection? or even pretend that everything is fine “for kids” who aren’t stupid anyway and can see what’s going on, or worse, they build their own model of a normal relationship seeing that?
is it due to convenience, habit, dependence?
3 comments
I think it’s because some of these people have invested 10-20 years or more in the marriage and haven’t been single for a long time. That’s really scary when you’ve just been used to being in a relationship even if some parts of it are just horrible.
It’s not really the same thing but my grandma (on mom’s side) was married to grandpa for over fifty years and it was a happy marriage, but it really threw her through a loop and she declined pretty hard. We were worried she might pass away right after my grandpa (but she didn’t in the end).
It’s because a family lawyer in a contested divorce to just get the ball rolling is 8k… Plus then you leave your fate into the hands of a judge who may be biased one way or the other…
Because you get manipulated into staying. And some abusers gain financial and physical control over people so they can’t leave.
Not everyone has the objective clarity to just realize what is going on and leave. If that person was that self aware, they wouldn’t have gotten in that relationship to begin with.
Abusers crush your sense of reality and self worth.