My boyfriend and I have been talking from the summer but started dating in November. Since then I have broke up him over 30 times. He still stays and supports me and is super helpful. After a failed suicide attempt and starting to go on meds and therapy I’ve been getting better. However I get manic and still break up with him once a month. I try to stop it but I’m not usually in the right state of mind but I’m trying to be. It hurts him and I know he thinks about how messed up I am/was to me. He won’t let me go because he claims he loves me and I know I love him( not in love with him yet) but I don’t want anyone else but him and he wants to marry me right now. If he could he would. Do you think I should break up with him so he can find someone better? Our relationship is healthy but it’s get toxic when I’m not mentally okay and I don’t want it to start causing resentment from the constant breaking up?
3 comments
Not sure how old you guys are. Like you said, you aren’t in the right state of mind to be in a relationship right now. You are hurting him and he is hurting you. The best thing that he could do is to let you go and allow you to heal. It sounds almost like he’s understanding and trying to reassure you that he cares about you with big statements about love (assuming you are both fairly young). Your relationship cannot be “healthy but toxic”, it is toxic for reasons out of your control. I think the best thing to do is take a break from relationships, get some help, and potentially revisit this in the future if you both decide to.
if he wants to be with you and help, let him. explain you can’t control these things but you’re getting help for it. be thankful that you have a man like him. you don’t need to give up or give in.. no matter what anyone tells you. if you wanna be with him, do it. just try your best to control yourself and be better. talk about this with your therapist to try to make a plan or something.
If, after all this, you’re still don’t feel the same way about him that he does for you, I don’t think you’re going to suddenly start. You should let him go, at least until you’re in a better place