My girlfriend wants me to be more dominant in the bedroom. I don’t know how I can be more dominant in the bedroom besides talking dirty which I am not the biggest fan of. I don’t mind doing it, I am just not very creative during the act and it seems to get slightly repetitive. I am wondering what other things I can do to be more dominant. When I am being dominant I am usually more forceful and rough, commanding her and moving her physically.
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Men have been BRAINWASHED into thinking that women are ‘delicate and fragile.’
Listen up.
Vaginas are made to push out babies! They are hard to BREAK!
My point?
The average man’s belief that women are delicate and fragile leads to soft, tepid ‘love-making’ that drives most women crazy with BOREDOM. Because it never, or rarely, makes her cum.
Women like it HARD and DEEP most of the time.
They like it ‘naughty.’
What ‘counts’ as NAUGHTY sex?
Spanking? Hell yeah.
Hair grabbing? Absolutely.
Anal play? Damn right.
Try giving firm instructions.
Deep clear voice. Keep it short.
Not: let’s turn around now.
But: TURN!
Find out if she’s into praise or degradation.
“Good girl” or “You are very bad at this”.
And variations of those.
It doesn’t have to be “dirty” just authoritative.
Also give her instructions like: don’t come until I say so / come right now.
And punishments: if you come to soon I’ll have to fuck your face.
Give her behaviour parameters: be quiet / tell me you like it
Enforce some rules: always keep eye contact / call you a certain name / a specific word or action when she comes.
It all depends on what people like, but being dominated doesn’t always have to be about physical roughness. It can be about giving up control and being told what to do.
Domineering acts that are no rougher than what you describe put you at the “soft dom” pole in the sexual dominance spectrum. Being a soft dom seems IMO no more repetitive than “vanilla sex”.
Bondage is the main thing that could be added to your repertoire without making you a harsher dom. Bondage is usually soft, but it’s harsh when it contorts the sub.
Tortures aren’t soft, IMO. Some tortures are mild, though.
One dynamic to try is for the sub to let the dom command the sub to do sexual acts she doesn’t like to do, but that the dom cherishes, like swallowing cum. Of course, this is only a possibility if there are things the sub doesn’t like to do. As a precondition, on any given day she has the right to renege (which is also society’s law). As a sub, though, the default is consent.
For example, if the sub doesn’t like to swallow cum, she could make a pact that she’ll swallow at the dom’s command. She’ll be allowed to beg off, but if the dom insists, she’s expected to give in. Things get interesting if the dom invokes the privilege only occasionally — and at his whim. Imagine the two of them make a deal that the dom usually won’t push it more than twice a month. If she submits like, 20 times out of 24 that she’s commanded, and 4 times she puts her foot down, this sub is being pretty faithful to the pact, and to her submissive role in general.