we have been together for about 4 years now, 3 of those have been long distance. Because of the distance and our situation, we only see each other about 4-5 trips a year, at least a week or more each trip. other than that, we just text and call to fill the gap, but we are very good at having our own lives and just keep each other updated through it.
he just told me that he feels like he’s struggling with his feelings of attraction towards me.
this hit me really hard. lately i’ve been having a lot of body image issues because of weight gain i’ve had from a health issue. i’ve done a lot of work myself from changing my diet and activity and lifestyle to support weight loss, but because of my condition it is out of my hands for the time being. it has been VERY difficult to process that i don’t look the same that i used to AND that it is out of my hands.
I noticed that because of these issues i’ve been having, im just so much more insecure than before. it’s hard for me to take pics of myself looking good (especially nudes) and send them because it’s hard for me to even look at myself right now. I feel like this is why his attraction is fading. when we’re together in person i’m totally fine, because i don’t have to see myself.
he DIDNT say that it was the weight gain that has changed his attraction towards me, so maybe i’m just projecting my insecurities.
My question is how can i try and re spark connection between us, even long distance? Is it even possible? Where do we go from here?
TLDR: long distance boyfriend has said he is losing his attraction to me, is there anything i can do about that?
2 comments
I am curious what the “health issue” is that is causing the weight gain. I know there are some glandular/disease issues that can cause serious weight gain, and I honestly feel some pity for those affected by the the disease. But, there’s also a lot of people that blame things like “My sugar gets low.” and then they eat 500 calories worth of snacks to bring it up — that’s not a solution in any health universe.
If your BF is using your weight gain as the sold reason they’re losing their attraction to you, then your solution is either weight loss, or to find a different BF that can appreciate you for who you are, as you are.
Long distance is making this more difficult than ever…
Its nothing to do with your body.
Its the distance
Long distance relationships are relatively new (really only the last 10 years vs the entirety of human history)
The chemistry of being in proximity is pretty important.
The day to day confort and building.
Can you two live closer some how? Spend an extended time together?