Cultural shock: do americans really take rent from their student children?

28 comments

1. Generally no, at least not from what I have seen.

   If you are being a NEET, then some parents try to use rent as a way of kick-starting the kids life.

   That being said 330 million people means everything occurs, so saying yes or no is a hard answer for anything.

2. Mine did.

   They needed the money.

3. It would be illegal to charge rent when children are minors, but living with extended families is still rare here. However due to economic problems it is becoming somewhat more common. I don’t know anyone that charges rent to their kids, but I also don’t know anyone who lived with their parents after they finished college.

4. No. At least no one I know pays rent to their parents and I never have.

5. Barely anyone does this but some parents may to help teach their kids further responsibility after they reach that age of adulthood or because they really need the money. Again, this isn’t that common.

6. parents are required to provide basic necessities for their children. not doing so would be considered illegal neglect.

   once the child becomes a legal adult, it’s legal to kick them out, charge rent, etc. in my experience, this is not the norm, but it does happen. most parents who are able do financially support their young adult children in some ways, especially if they’re going to college or working.

   but even in these scenarios, independence and self sufficiency are important cultural values in the US. most young adults find it important to work toward being independent from their parents.

7. Rent aside, you have to know that having your mommy but you an apartment is a rare privilege in any country, right? Please tell me you’re more self-aware than you come off

8. By student, are you referring to high school/being younger than 18 or a student that’s in college or university/a legal adult? The former is very uncommon and actually illegal (a parent is legally required to care for a child including giving them a free place to live) but it’s not heavily enforced and would be dealt with by doing to civil court which a teenager can’t easily do and their parent wouldn’t help them either.

   Charging adult students rent is more heard of but it’s still uncommon. These parents are usually shitty people who want to steal from their kids. I think to the average person adult students are usually exempt from paying rent to parents because they’re students and busy getting a degree. Only if they were in a bad financial situation and needed money from everyone in the household they wouldn’t be judged for charging some rent.

   Only after college or university would you see the expectation for rent to pop up. The US doesn’t really have the culture of living with your parents for multiple years as an adult, you’re expected to move out and start living independently eventually but that has been changing.

9. The only person I know who had their parents charge them rent was my cousin. Who at the age of 21 didn’t do anything besides work 10 hrs/week and play video games all day in his parents’ basement. My aunt and uncle started charging him rent as a way to kick his butt in gear and make him get a full time job at least.

10. My mother collected a small amount of rent from me when I graduated college and was working full time while living at home.

    She collected it together and gave it back to me to use towards purchasing a house when the time came.

11. >my mother bough a whole apartment for me and I pay nothing

    Why’re you okay mooching off your mom like that?

12. I never knew anyone whose parents charged them rent. Most of the examples I’ve heard of involve a kid who has their own source of income and is being asked to pay their fair share of the rent. If you’re a grown ass adult making your own money, but still living at home, why shouldn’t you pay them?

13. When I lived with my parents as an adult, I did pay them a small amount of rent; I think it was like $200 a month. I was happy to do it. Paid for my phone bill, groceries, and transportation too. My parents raised me with unconditional love through financial hardships; the least I can do is pay them back a little once I got a decent-paying job.

14. It happened to me. I was 15 and making $7.25 an hour. Every 2 weeks I was making about $450. My mom made me give her $400 from every paycheck for “rent”.

15. I charge my 21yo a very small amount for room and board. He goes to college (mostly online on scholarship) and works close to full time. We started doing this because he appeared to have no concept of responsible spending. He does save money, and he has some investments. But he was blowing through $100+ on food delivery and eating out a week. He knows how to cook, and we use a grocery ap so he can add to my weekly shopping list (I also remind him before I do the shopping). Even if he is working I prepare enough food for him for after shift or next days lunch. As a family, we eat out or order in maybe 3 times a month. I’m not against it, I just think it should be a treat, not a habit. He made some other ridiculous purchases as well. Basically, he was living above his means. We have been collecting rent (it’s more room and board) for less than a year bi-weekly and have skipped many. When he wanted to buy a new bedroom set, we gave him a month off. He got covid and missed time at work, so we gave him a pass. He has started to make smarter choices on his spending. Still eats out a lot, but stays local and isn’t paying crazy delivery charges.
    I think it is also important to note that I was financially independent and living in a different state at 18yo. My parents paid for car insurance until I was almost 20. Other than that, I was on my own (by choice). It was basically the same for my husband. At 21yo we bought our house. I don’t expect my son to be at that level. Covid did a number. Rent is ridiculous. Fortunately, he has zero student loans at this time, but may need to take some out to finish in his field. He is welcome to stay for as long as he wants/needs. But he is expected to contribute to the household in a very modest financial way, as well as with some household chores.

16. Not when I was a student, but I paid rent to my parents when I was living in their house and working full time. I don’t see the problem with that arrangement. At that point I was a grown adult with a job and my parents were not legally obligated to let me live there, so why shouldn’t I contribute to the household at that point? Besides it’s not like my parents were charging me a ton of money, what I paid them was far less than what I would pay for rent in my own place.

17. I’ve never actually seen it in my life, but it probably happens sometimes as it’s a big country with a lot of people.

    Remember, we are much more individual driven and minded here. Also.. having a parent buy you a home is not normal anywhere in the world.. that’s a nice privilege but you made it sound like an average expectation.

18. >My mother bough a whole apartment for me and I pay nothing for it.

    Dude this is *so much worse* lol

    Like, if you said this to your group of friends in America, or at least any group of friends I’ve had, you’d get ripped on *so fucking hard* lol

    But to answer your question, it’s not really common at all.

19. I paid no rent or bills and lived at home until 24. I had maybe one friend pay his mom rent but he and his mom are 14/15 years apart so she clearly needed the money. I’m Black if that helps. Most parents would have you move out rather than charge you rent.

20. No not common.

    The only time I’ve seen parents charge rent is when their adult children are living at home not making efforts to move out. And this isn’t financially motivated or punishment but more to teach them some sort of responsibility. Some people just want to live at home off mom and dad and aren’t motivated to be independent

21. I dropped out of high school at 17. I was still living with my parents at the time and I was given a choice, either get my GED and go to college and I wouldn’t have to pay rent while I was in college, or don’t and have to get a full time job and pay at least a little bit in rent while I save money to move out. I opted to go to college but I still worked part time because I was expected to pay my own bills i.e. car insurance, phone, etc.

22. Hey OP 😄 so it’s very rare to do that for students, but a bit more common for young adults generally. I would compare it to my greek & armenian family where these norms are very different than for other american families & for much of northern europe. Here,

    1. higher incomes have caused household sizes to crater over the last many decades; families don’t need to pool resources nearly as much to survive
    2. Where interest rates are lower, it’s more financially sustainable to either rent or hold onto a long mortgage; paying off a place in full very quickly isn’t nearly as necessary

    This has created a culture where young adults are expected to make good faith efforts to become financially self-sustaining (or at least setting that up by going to college) as that’s just a lot more possible. I’ve only ever seen rent be charged as 1. a tough love thing: as a means of getting a young adult off their ass and into their adult life, or 2. Getting an adult who chooses to stay in their multigenerational household while generating a considerable income to pay their fair share

23. Some people do this. I’ve had to live with my parents at a few points and they never charged me a cent and I would never do this with my kids when they become adults.

24. It seems to be more common in movies and on Reddit than in real life.

25. It’s far from universal. I was far from rich but my parents never asked for a dime

26. I’ve personally never known anyone who charged their kid rent *while in school*. After school while they’re still living at home? Yes. You don’t want your kid to just mooch — you raised them to be adults, to go out and live. Letting them just stay home and be a grown child isn’t good for anyone — you , them, or society at large.

27. I noticed it tends to depend on the culture the kid is brought up in. White and black parents tend to want their kids out at 18 and either start charging their kids thinking it will make the kid more responsible instead of teaching the kid how to invest and be responsible with money. I knew a white boy who parents started talking money from him as soon as he got a part time job at 15.
    Asian and Latino families want their kids established. Normally in Latino families you don’t move out till you are married if you don’t live in a house that supports multi generation housing.

28. We have a cultural belief that is shared by many people which is that learning financial independence early is important. Being a mooch of your parents until you are 26 may seem nice, but it teaches a mindset of entitlement.

    If you look at your own message it reflects that. “My mother bought a WHOLE apartment.”

    Some parents will charge a nominal rent to their kids to teach them to be financially independent and to grow up. Nothing in the world is free. It’s best to learn that early.