Although I do love him, he can’t make me happy. I can’t seem to make him happy either. We have very different ideas of a relationship. I’m not a particularly clingy person, frankly I’ve dated much clingier people than myself, but I feel like a clinger compared to him. He’s aloof and wants to be alone a lot. I feel rejected. Often he isn’t affectionate, whereas I’m the type to enjoy cuddling while we sit together in private or watch TV. He says I’m too adolescent in this regard, I think I’m normal.
It’s not necessarily his fault, but I feel bad about myself in the relationship. I feel like a pest when he clearly doesn’t want me around. He makes a lot of jokes about me being like a golden retriever. It hurts me a lot. I don’t feel wanted. I worry something is deeply wrong with me. He says he’s just mature or independent and I’ll catch up. Some of his behaviour has bordered on verbally abusive at times. When he gets mad, he really gets mad. I irritate him so much. I have asked him why he hasn’t dumped me/why he’s still with me. We live together with several mutual friends and he doesn’t want to live with an ex. And I refuse to move out. He doesn’t want to see me with other men. He says he loves me multiple times a day, but I can’t feel it. It’s probably my fault. I got drunk and starting crying today (I don’t drink much) because i was so overwhelmed with the feeling of wanting to feel loved. It sounds so utterly stupid, but it really hurt that he spent St Patrick’s Day with his female friend and I spent it with our mutual male friends. I tried to hide it but he seemed to care and insisted on leaving the bar and walking me home, despite my insisting I’d walk myself home and be ok. What should I do?
TLDR: my BF and I are unhappy but he won’t leave. What should I do?
8 comments
Why is it his job to dump *you* when *you* are the one who is not happy? Judt dump the dude and move out.
Why should he be the one to dump you? Fuck I don’t understand women sometimes. My first girlfriend asked me to dump her, too. Why can’t you just take responsibility for what you want?
You can break up with him too, ya know.
Why haven’t you broken up with him?
You don’t need his permission to end it if that’s what you want.
You need to break up with him, block him, then move out. Or set boundaries about times and when you will be in the common area then stick with it.
Is this real? You both need to grow up, respectfully. You’re an adult, you’re allowed to end relationships yourself. This whole situation is kinda immature. He doesn’t love you or want you around. He didn’t want to live with an ex is the only true thing he said.
Move out. Sure, you “shouldn’t have to,” but every day you stay, you’re choosing this drama.