What’s the first thing you do after waking up in the morning?

30 comments

1. Piss

2. I say ouch. Then I wonder which of my children my wife smuggled into our bed, and why the hell they all have such pointy heels and toes.

3. Kiss my cat Oliver good morning.

4. Straight for water and a piss on the way back

5. Turn off my alarms. So i turn my radio clock off, turn my phone alarms off and then i stretch.

6. Kill Alarm, turn on coffee, forget to sip water, smoke, piss drink water

7. Turn off my alarm.

8. Jerk off

9. Fight the urge to get in my phone. Then go in my phone

10. Bathroom, throw on some clothes and go for a run

11. Check the time

12. Kiss my girl and son and get ready for work oh wait I’m not allowed to see my kid rn. :/ cry myself BACK to sleep and miss work 🫠

13. Piss

14. 50 pushup. I roll out of bed onto the floor, knock out my daily pushups, and then get on with my day.

15. Feed my cat

16. Groan because I fucking hate waking up for work. Every morning, without fail. I think it’s instinct.

17. Open my eyes, then turn off my alarm

18. Put my daughter’s socks on since she asks for them before getting out of bed.

19. Wake up, grab phone and check notifications, if its weekend I may chill in bed and watch some youtube or netflix for a bit.

    If its a weekday im generally turning off the alarm, I give myself 5 minutes max in bed, then I put some clothes on, walk 5 feet and start working.

20. Go for a piss

21. Take an Austin Powers piss, then go fill up my coffee mug to fuel future pissing.

22. Ahh, shit here we go again.

23. dress, make coffee.

24. Snooze 5 times.

25. Ask “why?”

26. Go to sleep again

27. I reach for my eyeglasses.

28. turn off my alarm M-Th,

29. Groan and hide my head.

    I’m not a morning person.

30. See this question in this subreddit?