e dosen’t want me meeting her for some reason and is trying to hide the relationship. He’s ok with me hanging out with him him and his friends, but for some reason he’s trying to hide his girlfriend away from me. He was a little bit upset when he found out a friend told me about his hidden relationship. He told them about her last week but didn’t want me to find out. I’m so confused, why does he want to hide his relationship away from me?
I was also the only one out of his friendship group he did not tell this about. I’m getting confused as to why he didn’t want to tell me. What was his reason for wanting to hide it from me?
tl;dr: my friend tried to hide his girlfriend away from me and I don’t know why
edit: edited it. I meant tl;dr, my friend. sorry for the mistake. I will have a word with him about it since I don’t have feelings for him.
13 comments
Ok we get too many posts about girls who dont understand why guys are trying to keep their gfs away from their female friends so they can try and keep both in secret
Communication is key in any relationship. Talk to him and tell him how you feel.
Are any of his other friends, the ones he did tell, women?
his gf does not approve of him hanging out with other women is probably the reason
I had a few friends pull this shit when I was younger. This is what I told them:
*When you treat me like I’m different from your other friends, you cast me in the role of ‘the other woman’. That isn’t true, and it’s really insulting. I thought I was your friend. I am not, and will never be any sort of “other woman”, or threat to your relationship. If you cannot be honest with me about your relationship status when you are honest with your male friends, then we are not friends.*
Notice I’m not demanding to meet her. That’s a totally different conversation. Just draw clear boundaries that friends don’t treat other friends *as if t*here is something wrong or inappropriate going on. Friends who are just, respectful friends, don’t hide their relationship and make it look like something to be hidden. If a guy is going to treat you like his friendship with you is inappropriate, then you need to take that as a sign he actually *thinks it is*, and end the friendship.
When a guy tells all his other friends about his relationship, but not one female friend, he’s signalling to the entire group that that female is *a problem*. It’s shitty. It’s insulting. It sets you up for drama you didn’t ask for or earn. It’s not okay behaviour from a friend.
He thinks he has a chance with you and is going to try and cheat on his gf with you. He’s not only a snake, he’s pretty dumb snake. What is the point of being friends with him? Does he have some really cool Pokemon cards?
Is it possible that for some reason he thinks you might have feelings for him?
This may be a unique perspective here… I’m an older guy (50M) and I have several other female friends that I’ve known for a long time – co-workers, former classmates, etc., that I keep up with. These aren’t “ex-girlfriends” – these are platonic relationships. Some of these friends are very attractive, outgoing, successful, etc. Sometimes I’ve introduced them or told conversations I’ve had with them to past girlfriends, and they get -extremely- jealous about these friends. One got so jealous that she flat out asked if I had ever had sex with my friend, if we ever dated, etc., and that she was uncomfortable with me being friends with her. I gave her the “I’ve know her for 30 years, and I’ve known you for 3 months. Put that into perspective.”
Sometimes guys keep their girlfriends apart from their female friends because they want to avoid jealousy and trouble. It’s been my experience (having been married 18+ years, now divorced) that some women can’t be friends with other women that know their man. Maybe this is the case?
a. She doesn’t exist
b. He’s worried you’ll be jealous of her
c. He’s worried she’ll be jealous of you
>tl;dr: my *boyfriend* tried to hide his girlfriend away from me and I don’t know why
Freudian slip, or..?
Maybe he’s hiding your friendship from his gf. Could be that his gf is jealous or just uncomfortable with you so he’s keeping you separated and trying to spare feelings.
can be a few reasons tbh
1, he thinks your into him
2, he’s actually into you
3, he thinks she won’t like him having a female friend
4, she’s someone that did you wrong. and if that is the case he’s not your friend!
as above you should ask him about this and also tell him by keeping you a secret his girlfriend will think there’s a reason behind that and in turn will dislike you causing more problems.
I had a very similar situation with someone who was my best friend at the time. Even after I sat him down and we talked about until we were both on the same page, we still weren’t friends for very long after he met his gf, but I have made my peace with it. If this friendship has started to develop into something else, there is no guarantee that the friendship will remain the same. Keep a calm head and try not to let emotions cloud your judgement when he doesn’t start acting “normal” about it with you too.