Tomorrow I (22F) have a date with a guy (22M) who I’ve seen a few times over the past month. The last time we spoke was when we made plans last week, he didn’t see or respond to the last message I sent, but we confirmed everything so I wasn’t all that concerned about it. But two days ago I sent a message to ask what he wanted to do for dinner as we’re meant to see a show that runs kind of late and then come back to my place – he hasn’t seen the message or responded. I’m trying to chalk it up to bad texting, but I’m kind of worried that he’s going to bail.
26 comments
Come up with a backup plan if he does bail. You’re spending time getting dressed up for this, so no reason to let it go to waste. Treat yourself to something fun!
Sounds like a bit of an asshole
Ask to confirm if tomorrow still works…if yes great and if anything else including no response take it as a no
If he stops responding to my messages I‘d assume the date is off. Ask him to reconfirm asap and if he doesn‘t respond then it‘s off.
Text him – You must be Danny Phantom, because I can see you’re “going ghost.”
you could try calling him to confirm
Tomorrow morning I would send a text basically saying if you don’t hear from him and get confirmation you’re going to assume the date is not happening and won’t show up. Before you waste your time.
The date is off.
He went an entire week without contacting you, and when you reached out, two days went by with no reply. Make different plans for tomorrow because he’s not showing up.
I would text him “hey, if I don’t hear from you by 2pm, I’ll assume our date is cancelled” That way, you don’t risk showing up and waiting in vain. But this is not a good sign.
If you’re already text to reconfirm the date and he hasn’t answered, then the date is off
Is he dead?
Lol then no date tmw , idk guy or girl if you don’t talk to me in a week I’m dropping you
Don’t ask reddit, confirm with him.
Don’t go
As of right now, he’s just not that into you. If you are only a month or so into dating, I get it. Relationships take time together to develop. He might be into you later. But if you’ve been dating for a while now, your relationship isn’t going to go anywhere and it will stagnate and self implode because he is not that into you.
Bad texters should still confirm plans at the very least day of. I would send a “are we still on for tomorrow?” If you care to.
Sounds like he’s ghosting, sorry to say 🙁
Update: Lurked on the comments on this post (thanks to all of you!) and decided to send a text simply asking if we were still on for the date. He replied quite quickly and apologised, said he was looking forward to it.
Not sure how things will go because I’m still a bit iffy on the fact that it took that long to get a response from him to begin with, but fingers crossed it all goes well?
You haven’t heard from him in a week? Girl, make other plans. There’s no excuse for not texting back one way or another. It only takes a few seconds to respond back. If he can’t make time for you, he’s not the one.
IMPO, anyone who goes an ENITRE WEEK without any communication is no longer interested. Especially if a date had already been setup…
Also, if this is over text with iphone, you can turn off/on the “read receipts” at any time so it’s possible he turned that option off and *has* seen your messages. The other possibility is that he has message preview on (like I do) so when you text and he gets an alert, you can more or less read most of the message without actually going into the text message itself.
Don’t show up. You don’t want to date someone who ignored you for a week. You deserve better than that.
The date is off in my opinion.
I would not tolerate this level of basic communication. He can’t even text? Is he DEAD
Are you sure you want to invite/have a 1st date to dinner at your place? Have you met him in person before?
I’ve had this happened and I’m like cool the date is off except for one singular action late in the night. The night before the set date he just liked my message and I’m like okay?? I’m not gonna take it as anything until it’s verbally confirmed, maybe he’s gonna flake. The day of the date, still nothing. Went the whole day without hearing anything and I’m like oh I guess it’s called off. @7:00 I get a message and I had already gotten food, munching on my costa looking raggedy on ft with my friend I get a text. I’m mid bite as I read “here”…. I was like you’re fucking lying and he’s like no I’m not. I proceeded with, send a picture. He sends a picture of himself sitting on a table set for two… I felt like shittt seeing that, not because I wasn’t ready but because that must be embarrassing. I get ready quickly and head over. I did confront him, I told him that as much as I feel bad about him eating most of the time by himself, he didn’t reconfirm the date, didn’t respond to my message for a whole week except for a heart the night before, and let it be known that before he was also really dry so I’m like maybe he doesn’t wanna go. And he’s like I hearted the message that’s more than enough like it confirms you have my word… I don’t know you that well or know if your word is trustful lol. I still hung out with him the rest of the date and still made sure to enjoy myself but never discussed a second date with him. I just said I had fun and I would see him around.
Even if the date is off. Show up anyways. And enjoy YOURself. Make friends. Date your self. Turn a negative into a positive. Get free drinks. Look fn amazin. Take selfies.
And when or if he gets back in contact with you after with BS.
Just tell him “oh such a shame. I went and had a great time” and show it off. Then block him.
Aint no reason to lose plans. Show yourself you can still get out there
I’d tell a friend about it, and see if the friend will be my back-up plan for the night, as a moral support favor. Then I’d go to the date and if he doesn’t show, call my friend to hang out. If he does show, then I’d have a convo with him about how we need to come to a shared consensus about communication; 2 casual texts in a week is not clingy, so there needs to be a middle ground between nothing and a little bit of back and forth.