So I’ve met this girl like 2 or 3 times through mutual friends and I developed a small crush on her. We were at the bars together and both of us were very drunk so we made out. But right afterwards I went go hang with my friends and she made out with another boy. Initially I didn’t really care but my friends thought it was disrespectful. Should I stop talking to her or what are y’all’s opinion on this.
32 comments
1. If she doesn’t know you’re cursing on her, she won’t know
2. She was drunk
3. By the sound of it, you have no relationship
You’re over thinking it.
I don’t think anyone can sit here and suggest you’re crazy to have some sort of feelings about it, but at the end of the day, we’re not talking about someone you’re dating or in a relationship with. We’re talking about a crush; someone you’re into but haven’t made it known.
As such, she didn’t do anything wrong. She made out with you for fun. She wasn’t thinking about your feelings after that, because she has no clue that she needed to be.
So should you stop talking to her? That’s up to you. But I’d suggest you ask her out on a date and establish what you’re looking for with her. Good luck.
Is she your personal property just because you have a crush on her?
Sounds to me like she had a fun night.
If you want more from her, then you have to be a grown up and tell her about your feelings – with the possibility that she’ll reject you, REGARDLESS of whether she kissed you or not. A kiss doesn’t equal mutual romantic interest. She isn’t your property and she seems like she might think you’re cute or something, but that’s the extent of it at the moment.
If you want more, then go, tell her, ask her out on a date and accept whatever answer she gives you. You can’t start a relationship in your head on your own. And it’s not disrespectful of her to have fun with more people while she is single, which she is.
Your friends are idiots if they think she was being disrespectful to you, a stranger whom she has met TWO TO THREE TIMES before, who has not asked her out and who seemed all too willing to make out with her on a drunken night out. You can’t shame her for exhibiting the same behavior YOU’RE exhibiting, dude.
You’re 21. It’s time to communicate with the people you would like to pursue.
You’re 21. Not boys and girls anymore. Men and women.
You don’t get emotionally attached to a public urinal. No good will come of it.
So after making out, you then left her to go to your friends…..
Rookie mistake. You basically told her that you were no longer interested in her by doing that.
So what does a young, drunk person do when the first person they are interested in during the night show they are not interested, they go find someone else.
Your friends are idiots. You are not in a relationship, so you both can do whatever you want to do.
If you want a relationship with her, then you need to step up, tell her that you are interested in being more than friends and see what happens.
‘Disrespectful’
To what? Feeling she doesn’t know you have?
I think you can safely believe you aren’t special.
Stop talking to her or don’t, I doubt you’ll break her heart.
You aren’t dating. She can do whatever the fuck she wants
So? You don’t own her and your friends are creeps.
Ofc it’s not disrespectful. She’s single, you both are. How about you ignore that she made out with someone else, and just focus on winning her over instead.
Your friends are dumb. You’ve met a handful of times so you have no say how she spends her time apart from you. She had no idea of your crush and you guys were drunk having fun at a bar, so what were you expecting her to do? Follow you around like a love sick girl? There is no romantic relationship between you. So if you want to continue things with her speak up! Shoot your shot!
😂😂use your big boy words…how does she know you’re “crushing” on her??
This is you: “she hurt my unknown feelings and it’s disrespectful…whine whine whine” 😂😂
Is it disrespectful? That’s up to you
Should you pursue her? Absolutely not
Move on and find someone else
You’re not a couple. And you were both drunk.
I’d say you need to decide if this is actually worth it to continue to pursue.
Me, I’d say she’s a free spirit and you’re competing with other guys.
Disrespectful…why? I mean, you don’t “own” her just because you developed a ‘small crush’ on her. You’re not dating her and you’re not her bf. You’re talking, just talking to each other.
You were both very drunk so you guys made out, then she, still drunk, proceeded to make out some more with another…and?
Do you even want to be with her monogamously? If you guys are both playing the fields (dating other people, not exclusive) and are single people, I don’t see anything wrong with what she did at all.
Yes. She belongs to everyone.
I don’t think she did anything wrong.
Maybe kissing a girl you are crushing on while you are both drunk isn’t a great way to start dating.
It is a great way to pick up diseases.
Oh for the love of god. Y’all are not dating, she can do whatever she wants.
Can’t make a wife out of a hoe.
She’s a crush + not a girlfriend = No disrespect made/no obligation to you. If you liked her, you should’ve told her. Not her fault she didn’t know.
And I think the first problem is that you’re 21 and you’re still at the stage where you’re calling adults “boys” and “girls”.
Problem is not with her, it’s with you.
To you she is the one
To her you are just another one
Reality checks suck
You made out with a drunk girl and yiu think she owes you some kind of fidelity? Dude. Dial it back.
You don’t have a relationship. If you left her to hang with your friends you have no right to be upset at whatever she did next. You don’t own her. She owes you nothing. Adults don’t have “a small crush”, and don’t get possessive over people they met two or three times. If you don’t talk to her you won’t get any further. Your friends are making a drama out of nothing.
you barely know eachother, you’re not dating, she was drunk, and she can kiss whoever she wants
I mean does she even know you hade a crush on her lol. Regardless it’s up to you. She did nothin wrong as you guys have legit no connection based upon what you said.
Does she know you have a crush on her? Is she also interested in you? If yes, then yeah it is kinda disrespectful.
But if you haven’t told her you have a crush on her, then she didn’t really do anything wrong.
Would I stop talking to her? Personally, yes. But I don’t mess around with women who do “casual dating”. I don’t do that shit, and I expect the same in return. That’s just me. If you feel similar, be sure to let the next girl know in the beginning. Makes shit a whole lot easier.
You aren’t in a committed relationship so you don’t really have any reason to feel disrespected.
“Boy” your not 12, it’s a man.
Nah. There’s nothing there to disrespect. There’s no relationship, only feelings. You want her to only kiss you then work towards exclusivity. But as of right now, you’re both completely single and free to kiss whomever.
You’ve met her 2 or 3 times. You don’t know shit about her, dude. Your crush is base level, at best. You don’t owe each other anything, she certainly doesn’t owe you monogamy at this point in time. She doesn’t even know you have a crush on her. Hell, she doesn’t even *know you!* And you were both drunk, realities impaired.
Continue to not care. Your friends are taking this situation to an extreme. If you like her and think you may have a connection, continue to get to know her. Establish a friendship and eventually *maybe* a relationship. And either get new friends or talk some sense into them for being assholes.
She’s disrespectful for not reading your mind to know you have a crush on her after you walked away after making out with her? That’s what they’re saying?