i (19f) have been seeing an older guy (25m) for awhile and he’s the first guy i’ve slept with so i’m very new to it.
i feel bad bc i feel like a pillow princess and he’s doing most of the work when it comes to sex. he is very good at what he does so i want to be able to be good too
he tells me to get on top and then i have no idea what to do so we quickly switch and it’s kinda embarrassing lol
he loves when i give him head so i think i’m good at that so i guess that’s good atleast?
i feel like having multiple partners would be the best practice but i get attached pretty easily so i don’t think that would be a good idea for me!
10 comments
Sounds like you’re in your head too much, don’t over think it and don’t be afraid to show interest and initiative !
Being so relatively new best to express this to him and ask for practice as well as instruction if it makes it more fun to learn.
First: pillow princess is a wlw term. Starfish is the straight term. But besides that just start doing things. Over time you’ll become more comfortable. Sex comes naturally to some but all the extra shit is just trial & error until you find out what you like to do vs don’t like to do.
The best advice I could give you is thing of YOUR pleasure (and almost your pleasure only). Next time he tells you to get on top, and if you want to, go ahead. Once you’re on top forget about him and focus only about you and the pleasure you feel in your organs, be aware of your body (sometime my pleasure goes trough my body from head to toes).
The bast compliments I ever had always followed sex where I would totally dive into it.
Finally, this is only a matter of alchemy between people. Asking yourself if you’re « good at it » is the same as asking yourself if you’re « good at walking » : it doesn’t make sense. Everyone has his own particular way of walking (or having sex) and it’s neither good nor bad.
I’m 28 now, but I remember when I was you age, my BF at the time told to everyone that I would be a starfish. Dude, HE WAS TIMING HIMSELF and forbid me to move, how ridiculous is that? So OBVIOUSLY it was crap!
Afterwards I had tons of positive sex experiences (including on the roof of a car late at night one day in Spain, we kinda put a hole in the rooftop, I still feel sorry for the owners..)
In brief : don’t ask yourself question, juste FEEL IT, go with the flow and HAVE FUN. And the fact that BF is a boy doesn’t give him the role to always dictate the rythm.
Haizzz… Sex and late teenagehood… if you have questions, ANYTHING, don’t hesitate to ask me, I’ll reply!
Ask him! God, when I was 19 I used to be so fuuuuucking ashamed of admitting I had no idea what I was doing but once you’re with someone you like and can trust you just gotta blurt it out before you overthink it. “Can you teach me how I can ride you to make you cum?” – just ask as soon as it pops into your head. I can’t imagine he’d be like “No lol I don’t want that that sounds awful”, no one I’ve been with has ever said that. Ever. I believe in you!!!
> i feel like having multiple partners would be the best practice
No, that is *not* the best practice.
First, you have already done 90% of what needs to be done: you *want* to be a good partner.
All that is left now is to try different things, see what he likes. He likes fellatio, OK, start there. What other things can you suck? Maybe he would like to suck on some bits of yours. See which of the parts of your body go well with which bits of his.
You should stop wanting to please a whole grown ass man who could be married with children but he’s out there grooming a teen. Creepy! What are you doing with him to begin with?
Don’t overthink it girl!
My gf is 19 and I am 26. She was overthinking everything. Let yourself go. Tell him you want to ride his hard cock and then do it. Don’t think :*