My gf Kelly is very close with her daughter’s stepmom Tiffany(32) after years since they have the same baby’s father and their kids are siblings. Kelly was homeless at one point in the past and When Tiffany’s marriage was good with the baby’s father, he and her let Kelly live with them. Kelly & Tiff call each other sister now. Now Tiff is separated and has a different boyfriend Jay. Kelly hangs third wheel with Tiff & Jay and is now close friends with Jay since Tiff is with him. Kelly lives in the living room at her moms house, and just got a new couch bed. Tiff & Jay came to chill with Kelly per usual but all 3 were laying down in Kelly’s couchbed with Tiffany laying in the middle and Jay laying on the other side.(Example: Jay|Tiff|Kelly|). I live at my own house and I called Kelly while I was at home, she told me she ways laying down with Tiff & Jay and I was flabbergasted and angry. Then she posted a social media video with all 3 of them chilling in the bed. As a man I told her shouldn’t no other man be in her bed besides her man even though nothing sexual occurred according to her. Was I wrong for leaving her because she didn’t see any wrong and was mad because I was mad about it?
6 comments
It’s odd that you’re so insecure that you were mad about this, but if you’re unhappy in a relationship then you have every right to leave it.
I definitely understand your feelings in the situation. I wouldn’t have left my partner over this but it is a moment to set up new boundaries for what makes you & her feel comfortable in the relationship. If you still want to. Laying in a bed with her friends makes you feel insecure & telling her is a big step forward.
This sounds like none of your business. Adults can lay around with other adults. If you don’t trust your girlfriend, you shouldn’t be in a relationship with her.
I’m having enormous mixed feelings about this.
Sounds like you have security issues that you need to deal with. We call people laying down together without sexual context a puppy pile and it can be a great comfort with good friends.
I totally understand where you’re coming from. I wouldn’t want my SO laying in bed with a member of the opposite sex and then posting it on social media. If she did it after you told her you had a problem with it, then that’s very manipulative.
On the other side, I’m sure you also have some insecurity issues which may be valid if you’ve had past experiences with cheating. Does not mean you need to continue the cycle of insecurity. The past does not equal the future, however past experiences allow us develop a personal barometer for things that may come up and things we just don’t feel comfortable with, however it’s important to differentiate when that barometer is in the insecurity redline or based on a good and thought out reading.
It seems as if she is not ready for a true relationship where boundaries are set and respected, and you may not be ready either due to some unresolved insecurity.
Never let others tell you what YOU should be comfortable with. It’s your life. If it makes you feel uncomfortable and you ask in a reasoned way and that’s not respected then it’s best to go your separate ways.