Hey, so basically, I live in a share house with a married couple, they are both great friends of mine and we have a really good living situation. However, over the past few months, I’ve noticed that every time I buy avocados (I do my own grocery shopping separately, and the husband does grocery shopping for both him and his wife) they end up eating/using mine. We do have an agreement regarding groceries, and our own designated shelves in the fridge and pantry.
I very much do not think they are doing this on purpose, but I don’t know for sure. First off, surely after some amount of time, you would realise you have not yourself bought avocados and therefore, should not take. And I really don’t think I should have to label them as mine or announce I’ve made an avocado purchase. And yes, avocados aren’t crazy expensive so it really isn’t that bad, but if I ever need it for a meal or a dish, and suddenly they’re gone, it does add up and make a difference over time. And the principal of the matter is, if you know something isn’t yours, ideally you shouldn’t just assume or take it.
I am really not very good with confrontation, and so I’m very much trying to figure out how to address this. But I do think it needs to be addressed, because I really don’t want it to keep happening. I know that, when you break it down, it is such a simple issue but at the same time, it is worth saying something, yeah? Just not sure how, and would really love some advice on how to proceed.
3 comments
Say it like it is- that it is not so much about the money as it is the inconvenience of not finding any when you need them. Tell them if they end up using your avocado then they should let you know so you can plan accordingly. This will deter most people from using what’s not theirs or in the least let you know and offer to replace them on their next trip. It may well turn out that the wife thinks the husband buys them and eats them and once you have the conversation it will be clear.
Be like “hey, the last couple times I bought avocados they were gone when I went to use them. It’s not a big deal and I’m ok sharing but can you please ask me because if I’m planning on using them in a recipe it won’t be a surprise if they’re gone and I can let you know instead”
You should say something, but keep it the right balance. Like, not passive aggressive, and not overly actually aggressive either. A simple, “Dude, you guys keep eating my avocados. I want to eat my own avocados.”
And then be prepared to just be kinda OK with whatever the response is. If they are like, “Whoops sorry, I’ll buy some more,” just say fine and leave it alone. If they say something dumb like, “Well it’s not us!” Just shake your head and walk away.
At that point you’ve expressed yourself so it doesn’t build up all this internal resentment, but you haven’t built it up to the point where you seem like a crazy avocado person.
And maybe they will stop and maybe they won’t. It’s more or less impossible to keep roommates from eating your food, it’s a law of nature. I had a co-worker who got his lunch stolen from the office fridge every day. So one day he injected piss in some snacks, and put a note on them asking people to please not eat them. They ate every one.
I’m not saying you should poison your roommates, just saying it’s a universal problem.