Why and when did you lose interest in your partner?

11 comments

1. A week ago. When he got into a motorcycle accident and is now on life support. Since this happened, his mother informed me that he’s been living with his real gf for four years (our relationship was four years), and he’s got three other gf’s. He swore to me I was the only one since he met me. He gaslighted me when I got a feeling that something was off. And I guessed every single little thing correctly. On my way to pull the plug shortly…

2. When he started regularly waking me up for sex, even though he didn’t have a job, pay bills or do house chores. Fuck that shit; no sex is that good.

3. 3 years into my relationship with my ex, I realized how much I hated his over inflated ego and troll personality. His personality was derived from Twitch and gamer memes. It was cute in college but downright childish once we became working adults with responsibilities

4. constantly. as soon as things get boring, i mentally check out. like as soon as there’s nothing new and exciting, i start to lose infatuation.

   there’s only been two guys, where it didn’t happen like that. i suppose that’s how i knew i actually loved them.

5. With my ex basically it took me 2 years to realize that the relationship is abusive. I kept believing it would become better. Then after 2.5 years i finally decided to stop it

6. I see “lose interest” as being bored by or just not intrigued by someone, which almost never happens for me. Rather, we break up because they piss me off. I’m still super interested in the person, but now in a passionately negative way.

7. The last year or so in my recently ended, nearly 6 year-long relationship. I’m 30 and hes about to turn 33.

   He’s a great guy. He’s sweet and caring and kind. He loves animals of all shapes and sizes, he rescues lizards and bugs, and he’s a generous person to others.

   However. He has zero ambition in life. He told me when we first met that he wanted to get his GED, go to college, and become a history teacher. I was excited about that because I was in school to become a Language Arts teacher, and having a teacher spouse would mean having someone understand the stress and difficulties of the job.

   It’s been nearly 6 years since he told me his life goals. I got him GED study guides. Offered to help him study. Found online programs he could take, and during COVID I told him he could take the GED tests online now, since he has anxiety about going to new places to take them.

   He basically lied to me about his future goals. He actually has no real goals. He’s worked part time as a cart attendant for most of our relationship. He’s said no to his store asking if he wants more responsibilities/training to get promoted. He complains about his job constantly but when I tell him to look for new ones and apply, he won’t.

   I had to create his resume for him to even get the cart attendant job years ago. I’ve applied to jobs for him. He comes up with excuses as to why it’s a worse job than what he has now.

   We also had no sex life. It dwindled down to us maybe having sex once every month. Mostly because I started feeling like his parent rather than his partner, and he never, ever initiated.

   At this point in my life, I’ve been a teacher for 5 years, and I’m nearly done with my masters program to become a clinical mental health counselor. I take on additional work at school to make extra money. I actually have a savings account for the first time in my life, with no help from him. I’m just way more ambitious than him, and not content to spend my life living in the run down trailer we live in now, working a dead end job, smoking weed to relax every day, playing video games for hours and being a hermit who has no friends and no life. That’s what he wants. I do not. So, we broke up two weeks ago.

   Now im struggling to be kind and patient as he actually leaves. He keeps saying he will, but he hasn’t. I’m worried that I’ll have to get mean.

8. When I realised that he didn’t want to see a therapist because he considered me the therapist.

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11. When the kids were gone from the house. The only thing she had to manage was me. 20+ years of her control became focused on me. I just couldn’t handle it.