What to do about a man unintentionally guilting you to do sexual acts?

30 comments

1. Don’t be with that guy

2. Guilting you in any way or form is never unintentional, because he has the intent to get something for the effort.
   Enter : Manipulation

3. Cut him off. No such thing as unintentional when it comes to guilt-tripping me to do sexual acts.

4. Nobody unintentionally guilts another into sexual acts. They know very well what they are doing.

5. Completely cut him off as soon as he tries the guilt trip, it’s not unintentional.

6. Sex is consensual activity. If he has to guilt you and manipulate you for sex, then it isn’t really consent. I recommend dumping his ass and cutting him out of your life

7. If he can be reasoned with, explain to him what he’s doing and why that’s not okay.

   If that doesn’t help, then just get away from him.

8. Drop them and then tell EVERYONE I know and he knows that he’s a huge piece of shit.

9. Listen to the commenters, OP. Cut him off quickly and efficiently. You may feel like an asshole but you *need* to do it. This man doesn’t deserve access to you.

10. they know what they’re doing. especially if you’ve confronted them before. don’t let them gaslight you.

    if they don’t respect you, get the hell out.

11. Cut him off. It’s not unintentional. It’s coercing.

12. Can you explain what you mean by unintentionally guilting you into sex acts?

13. Lecture him on his shitty behavior.

14. Always say no when you don’t want to do it, that’s all there is to it, I know it’s hard but if he doesn’t respect your boundaries then he’s not gonna be respecting you in other aspects either down the line

15. Block them. This happened to me about a few years ago. The threats/manipulation got very severe because I didn’t stop him at the beginning. I now suffer from PTSD… just ignore them.

16. Say no

17. Sex or sexual activity without consent is rape or sexual assault. There’s lots of support out there ❤️ I would recommend speaking to your nearest Women’s Aid or rape crisis centre.

18. Is this your husband? Help me understand ‘unintentional’ guilt a little.

19. Leave him

20. Acknowledge that it’s actually intentional and drop him.

21. Say no and call Out their manipulation.

22. [removed]

23. Find a new man.

    And it feels like the solution for everything on Reddit is breakup, sometimes. However, that is sexual abuse. Intentionally or unintentionally, that is abuse.

    I have been there. After a while I stopped wanting to have sex with him. Things got progressively more toxic. I wouldn’t want that for anyone else. I wish somebody had told me when we first got together, and it would have been so much easier to leave him.

24. Tell him: ‘I told you no and you saying/doing X makes me feel like you are pressuring me into doing these acts. It’s not ok. You need to respect and accept my boundaries as I present them. I am cutting you off and hoping you’ll change your behaviour towards future women you meet.’

25. Talk to him about it. If it continues, cut him out of your life.

26. Go to the police and have him arrested for rape. Coercion is rape

27. As with others I also say its probably best to break it off with anyone that does this.
    For starters it’s very rarely an unintentional thing. If someone is trying to make you feel guilty it’s pretty much always purposely done.

    You could talk to him about it and tell him where the boundary is and to respect it but from my experience with guys like that (and I have plenty) the basis for guilting someone to do something sexual is that they just don’t have any respect for you. They don’t. They see their sexual gratification as the most important thing. They don’t care if you’re uncomfortable or in pain or humiliated. So talking to them about it may not have any impact because they don’t care to start with and they don’t see you as an actual person with real feelings, they just see you as a play thing.

    I’d advise ditching anyone who went down the guilt tripping line with anything sexual. It’s a mutual act which should be equally enjoyed. Not something you barter and guilt trip over. I also would be wary of anyone who felt genuinely comfortable with going ahead with a sex act they had to guilt trip their partner into. How could you genuinely enjoy it knowing your partner was unhappy?

28. I have learned to develop and enforce boundaries. It’s a very important skill for all sorts of situations in life. If someone pushes something I have said no to, we are done.

    It’s also really important to communicate no in a straightforward, unambiguous way. Nobody else will step in and do it for you.

29. Leave him he won’t change. Been there so many times for years something is wrong with them and they themselves don’t ever feel guilt about doing this. For real what he is doing is rape and he’s a bad person leave asap haha ghost him immediately

30. 👋 Bye