I’ve noticed a lot of guys are expecting to come over on the first date or after the date. What has modern society become? Went out on a first date with this guy last night and prior to that he says he was looking for something serious and long-term. At the end of date before he left he says we gotta do this sometime soon. He seemed genuine and normal enough, but then just now he asked for Netflix tonight. Is this even normal? This is one of many examples I have. But I’m not having anyone come over till I know them way more, and I don’t wanna go to their place. There’s many places we can go out for activities to see each other. This is getting so annoying.

29 comments
  1. There’s no real “normal” when it comes to this. Some guys invite a girl over after a 1st date. Some don’t. Some women are down to have sex after the 1st date. Others won’t.

    Where we wanna be careful is thinking there’s any “norm” at all and taking it personally if someone we see thinks differently.

  2. I expect no less than 2 weeks notice and an appointment before anyone comes over.
    Those who ask you to come over on a first date are just sleazy. Then again it is online dating.

  3. Lol. I’ve been told I’m too slow. I don’t even like to kiss on a first date as all the cool kids do.

  4. It is a thing now for sure. I’ve done like a full background check on someone for them to come over the first time meeting lol. I get it though. The whole dating is superficial and expensive thing. I mean in this economy, and men being expected to pay on the first date etc etc. I totally get it. He was actually super cool.

  5. Might be becoming a bit more common these days for people to be like that. It’s very weird to me but it’s not going to be everyone like that.

  6. Some might actual just want to watch Netflix. But if you’ve implied at some point before that you don’t do that. In however form you said if. They aren’t listening and that’s a red flag in my book. But I do get it.

  7. What frustrates me about dating is the lack of communication. Everyone has different standards for what they want / how fast they move. Why don’t you tell him this instead of assuming you know his intentions / what he’s thinking? It seems to me that a large amount of relationships go sideways just because someone assumed something that’s straight up not true / could have been worked out if it was just discussed.

  8. What if, you invited a guy over and he had to take an 8 hour flight to get there? Would that count as a hookup or a committed person?

  9. Last tinder date we matched talked for 2 days she invited me over to her place we talked hung out made out I left next day had sex and we’ve been dating for 6 months now and it’s probably the best relationship I’ve ever been in, it definitely does happen and a lot of ppl go to each others places after a date or 2 🤷🏼‍♂️

  10. People can have sex before the third date and the relationship still lasts at least a few years.

    Idk, if you’re not feeling it, don’t go there yet… Or ever.

    People do all kinds of wild things.

  11. He’s a fuckboy. I’d not see him again unless you want to hook up or be his fuck buddy.

  12. Im a woman and personally feel like you shouldn’t expect people to stop asking, but you can just say no. I have gone to guys houses after the first date and said “I go, but we won’t have sex” and so we just chill.

    You need to communicate what you want to the men you are with instead of expecting every person in the world to stop asking girls just because you don’t like it

  13. No he wants to get laid. So he does that by rushing the process so that you don’t think and then you end up having sex. He will continue to rush the process. So slow it down to what you like. He will stay or leave. You will know.

  14. Is this on dating apps? Every guy I met on a dating app just wanted to bang and ghost, absolutely none of them wanted a relationship even tho that’s what I said I was looking for. Freaking sucks and I gave up completely and guess I’ll be alone the rest of my life

  15. Just say no. Plenty of women say yes to these things, which is why men keep asking. If you want something else, it’s your prerogative to make that clear.

  16. If a guy asks me to come over his place after the first or second date, I just say no thank you and I’m done.

    And I rarely ever have this happen for me because the guys I’m into are definitely not like this.

  17. If you’re dating a man you’re interested in, but he asks you to come over sooner than you prefer, simply say that. “I’d like to go out on a few more dates, first.” If he’s mature, he’ll agree. If he’s not, you’ll find out fairly early on that he’s not the one for you

  18. This guy just wants sex so that’s fine if that’s what you want to give him but if you’re looking for a relationship you probably need to move on he doesn’t sound like he’s trying to make you feel like you’re special to him

  19. We asked for looser norms and less judgement around sex. Attractive men are taking advantage and not spending a lot of time before trying to get what they want.

  20. They are not going to stop asking so you’re just going to have to get comfortable with saying the word no.

  21. Well first off, I’d never invite a man to my place so early-on. Sorry, but women are getting stalked, raped, and murdered just a little bit too often for me to take that risk.

    Public places only. He doesn’t drive me anywhere, I keep my own transportation.

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