This just happens whenever we fight. He swears a lot but i don’t. And I just get very upset and feel really belittled even if he is angry. And we are fighting. Its just he says I was angry and it was in the moment. But, i don’t know how to feel.

22 comments

  1. What would you consider “belittling?” Does he simply just say “fuck” or is seriously calling YOU names?

  3. No. Never ever. Not at work. Not with family. Not with friends. Not with strangers. Not with your partner.

    Your partner needs some anger management therapy.

    You know, domestic abuse doesn’t suddenly starts with your partner killing you. It starts small and escalates from there.

    Your partner might never go past name calling… or he might… are you willing to find out how far he’ll go when he gets angry?

  4. My current bf does the same thing. I told him I don’t respond well to yelling, cursing or insulting during an argument and he said he’s stop but he still does it. It’s caused me too much emotional/mental damage and brought out the worst in me. I’m planning on breaking up with him. I think you should re-evaluate the relationship and know your worth. The right person won’t treat you that way during an argument

  5. I’m actually guilty of this as well. I don’t think it’s ok and I won’t make excuses for it. That said to combat this because I do have a potty mouth I started a swear jar and an expensive one at that. It’s for my wife only so it’s counter productive of me to swear at her and will cost me money and that helps me to think before I speak. Also there is a big difference between cussing during a situation a being verbally abused. If he’s making remarks about your appearance, personality, etc that goes beyond and he might need to get some anger management.

  6. I think it’s a stepping stone to abuse. I’ve had female partners start off with name-calling, and when that fails to have any effect, it resorts to slapping and pushing and even punching me.

  9. What are you fighting about? I’ve been with my bf for 5 years and we’ve never had a fight. We’re both pretty chill

  10. That feeling when dysfunctional parents have kids and they take to the internet to ask this stuff

  11. Name calling, IMO, means you are trying to make the other person feel bad or put them down mentally. So no I don’t think it’s okay at all to be doing that with someone you love.

  13. Nope, it’s not and you shouldn’t be tolerating it. Name calling isn’t appropriate communication and you should expect more out of an adult partner. It’s one thing for an argument to get heated and another for your partner to degrade you in some shitty attempt at “winning” the argument or getting a reaction out of you. Verbal abuse will also frequently escalate to other sorts of abuse and you shouldn’t stay with someone who thinks being angry when it happened excuses his behavior. That’s how you end up with bruises that are somehow “your fault”.

  15. Again it seems awful that you had to go through that. I hope you are recovering or have already healed.

  17. Fights are completely normal and healthy in a relationship. But there is healthy fighting and unhealthy fighting… and name calling is unhealthy.. so no its not ok. You and your partner need to learn to air out your differences in a more effective manner and not resort to insulting each other..

  18. My girlfriend name calls me but I never name call her during the so so so so so many toxic fights we go through. Honestly name calling is kinda whatever for me though what is worse is passive-aggressive attitude.

  19. No certainly not, if you can be civil why shouldn’t he be? If my bf and I are arguing we speak to each other calm but serious. He shouldn’t belittle you, it’s you and him against the problem not hin against you!

  20. My female partner used to do this once or twice a year, she were doing it more frequently years before. All I did was silenece and not adding gas to the fire. Now it is been years she has not done it. She was feeling guilty afterwards. it went away as we matured. It depends on the arguments too, ours were very serious issues. If it is repetetive and becoming a habbit and is about ordinary matters both of you should seek help from a professional if your relatioship worth it.

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