I was hanging out with my fiancée on New Year’s Eve and saw he got a holiday text from a woman whose name I did not recognize. He told me it was a former employee of his but that they haven’t really kept in touch.
Fast forward a few weeks and we are hanging out with his friends. We all work for the same company but have moved on to different departments. His friends start reminiscing about their time working together and this girl’s name comes up yet again. They laugh about the crush she had on my fiancée, which was apparently well known and a running joke to everyone in their department.
It’s strange to me. My fiancée made a habit of introducing me to everyone who worked for him, but I never even heard about this girl until recently. He said I was making a mountain out of a molehill, that the girl was in her only 20s and had a crush on “everyone” because she has “daddy issues.” He didn’t think it was worth telling me when it would only stress me out, which I guess is fair.
I admit I snooped in his phone. I found him looking at her Instagram (which had mostly risqué pics of her in lingerie, think OF ad type of content) just a few weeks ago. And there were call logs showing he was on the phone with her multiple times for 1-2 hours at a time a few weeks after he transferred jobs. His text messages with her were deleted.
He swears I’m making something out of nothing. He said she just needed someone to talk to and that she called him up “out of the blue” and started “rambling.” It was a long time ago so he can’t renember the details. I’m not sure he cheated but I can’t help but feel like he intentionally kept this from me.
4 comments
Oh he has cheated, only question is whether it was only emotional, or physical as well. Worst of all, he is lying to you about it. If they had sth like “platonic romance” is one thing, but he was hiding it from any of you and is willing to lie to you about.
Hey, funny question: What does it mean, if he lies to you about one thing? It means he takes no issue lying to you in general, about anything that would make him look bad. I have to wonder, what else you are unaware of?
It’s hard to know what else is going on, but he was Willing to have an unprofessional relationship with someone behaving inappropriately at work if it was obvious she had a crush. Why was he willing to take that professional risk?
You can retrieve deleted messages by tapping the three-dot menu in the upper right corner of the inbox. There you should find a folder that says either “deleted messages” or “recycle bin”. Click it. This is assuming that your fiancé has an android phone. Messages in that folder will be deleted after 30 days so you better hurry.
Anyway though, even if he might not have slept with her, he still looked at pictures of her in lingerie and talked to her on the phone, and didn’t tell you about either of those things. That, to me, means there’s more going on here than he’s willing to admit, which means it’s time to dump him.
Lol taking on the phone with this chick multiple times is all you need to know. It is a mountain. He cheating. Good luck.