Have men in general given up on dating?

21 comments

1. That’s quite the generalization

2. I don’t know about given up altogether, but definitely seen an uptick in complaints about how difficult it is.

3. I have. Too much effort and time. In my last two years it’s been 20% catfish, 60% insane, and 20% one night stands. I’d rather build my career and go to the gym and hang with guy friends. The quality of dating is far below what it was five years ago and not even recognizable from 10 years back.

   Too many damaged women. Too many women seeing multiple guys at once. I did meet one really great lady though, but it didn’t last too long, but she was the one out of 20 that was worth the exploration.

4. What age group are we talking about?

   I think the biggest thing is that, culturally, the expectations in dating have changed. At least for younger millennials and older gen Z. In general with those generations it seems like there is a disconnect between men and women on the expectations of the methods and environments in which it’s okay to ask someone out.

   If you’re part of one of those younger generations then you might just not be putting yourself in the situations where men expect to be finding a date.

   And if you’re not in one of those generations, if you’re in one of the older generations, then a good chunk of those men are already taken.

5. Yes.

6. I don’t want to give up but it feels really hard to keep being motivated to continue trying.

   After graduating university and finally settling into a job I enjoy, I’ve spent the last few years expanding my hobbies and getting into shape as well as understanding what I really want and what I’m happy with.

   I’ve put a lot of effort into my dating profiles and am always my best self when chatting to someone, I’ve never pressured anyone into doing something they’re not comfortable with, I’ve always shown a perky, upbeat attitude when we chat & meet, and I take an interest in their hobbies/passions so we can exchange stories/anecdotes and share a laugh over them.

   Despite this, I’m lucky to get 1 date a year and even though they say that they had a great time and would like to meet again, ‘again’ never happens even when I put in the effort to offer up times/activities that would suit us best.

   I don’t know if reality hits them and they start to feel anxious, realise they don’t have time/room for a relationship in their life, or are so hurt by past trauma that they find it hard to trust another person, but It gets tiring to keep doing the same song and dance for something that doesn’t even go past a first date.

7. I haven’t, I date actively. The only thing that’s changed since I’ve been single is that I have fewer expectations and I’m far more concerned with my own needs. I also take rejection far less personally. My thoughts now are that I’m doing well alone and dating is something I do for fun. If I don’t meet a woman that I want to marry, so be it. I add my own value to my own life, what possible benefit could another person bring me?

8. I feel like it’s 50/50; some men are still willing to try, while other men are giving up, or on the brink of giving up. I’m slowly getting close to giving up, despite the fact that I’m still fairly young. I feel like the dating scene today makes dating not worth it nowadays, and it makes me kind of glad to be single, even though a part of me hasn’t given up on dating completely.

9. Just seems so one sided every thing is about pleasing women, to the point where your own happiness becomes secondary. At least that the way I feel, I’d much rather put my effort into myself rather than someone who sees me as just one of her many options for the week.

10. Just seems so one sided every thing is about pleasing women, to the point where your own happiness becomes secondary. At least that the way I feel, I’d much rather put my effort into myself rather than someone who sees me as just one of her many options for the week.

11. Dating is a dog eat dog world and I am wearing milk bone underwear

12. Been out of the game for a while, but I will tell you what I have seen from my friends (and kids).

    Sexism alert….one of the biggest needs most women have is attention. In the pre-social media days, they got that from men, but in person. So they catered to guys they were interested in to get the attention and validation that made them happy. And even with their GF’s, they would get attention for how great a BF or husband they had.

    Now women can just post a picture in their jammies eating takeout and they will get tons of likes and comments and guys in their DM’s. There is no need to exert themselves to get that attention and validation that motivated women back even 10 years ago.

    Having said all that, it’s not all on women. Going on dates with guys used to be a lot more fun than sitting at home. And sure even today that most women would rather go on a fun date with a guy that puts some effort in than sit at home.

13. From my most recent experiences as a woman, I am going to say yes, yes they have

14. Sure have. Its a waste of time man. Focus on yourself and be happy alone. Peace is better then women.

15. Um no the majority of men are in relationships.

16. I haven’t. I’m having an okay time of things

17. Men generally get sexier as they get older.

    Going through the struggle is good. Stay the course.

    Build you. You are the prize.

18. Blaming women isn’t going to improve your life or your prospects of getting dates.

    If you go people watching you’ll see there no shortage of couples going to dinner, taking walks, seeing movies etc.

    The lonely gather online and commiserate which makes it seem more prevalent.

    I do think that dating has changed but what’s making it harder isn’t women. It’s the methods that people use to get dates, the “everything is temporary and disposable” mindset and peoples absolute inability to understand the difference between reality and what they consume online everyday.

19. It’s less hassle and mental anguish to just pay for sex at this point.
    It’s getting your emotions played with,ghosted,catfished or can’t even get a date.
    It’s always on the woman’s terms all the time. It’s so one sided and there is all that work for nothing or little in return.

20. In my opinion, this generation seems to not be interested in something serious. To tired to put effort or just want sex/options. It’s hard out there but I think because most people have been through so much BS that they don’t wanna deal with it to be honest.

21. No, some dudes just find out they are undatable for reasons within their control (their shitty personality) or beyond their control (they are objectively ugly) so they pretty much take themselves out of the dating pool.

    If you go outside people are happily dating and falling in love every single day. The ones complaining online never stood a chance.