Hi All, I am 30 F dating a guy 30M from 3 months. The issues I have are :
1. My BF is not very physical with me. He used to tell me how much involved he was with his ex but he is not with me. Verbally he tells me all the time I am pretty and how cute I am and how lucky he is to have me but he doesn’t show physically. Mind it though he does do other acts of service for me though – such as cook for me, listen to me when I am anxious etc. His ex reached out to him once in a while using some random text or social media. He never blocked her and I never even asked because I feel it’s not my place.
2. My BF checks out other women in front of me. Sadly he loves “people watching” but it really really bothers me that he checks out other people with me. Even though I told him and he tried, he couldn’t help himself. đ đ
3. My BF spends a tons of time with his brother. All day long. I don’t mind it much but I get 2 hrs a day and he complained once that I take so much of his time. They both do work from home so they just spend all day together. His brother has a wife but she is a nurse and is all day out. Shall I be bothered or worried about how little time I get from him?
He says he can give more time but once I could sense his brother was annoyed at me as my bf was spending time with me.
Considering all above factors, is it something worth fighting for or shall I breakup and move on to find someone more compatible. I am so tired of all these insecurities.
Thank you in advance.
3 comments
I think you deserve better
1. it seems like your partner still has feelings for their ex, and it’s not your fault. however, it’s important to have an open and honest conversation about where his feelings stand and whether he is ready to fully commit to the relationship with you but honestly, that message was pretty weird. i still need context on that but since i’m a man and if im going to dip my head in first without knowing the context of that message, i’m 80% sure that he is cheating on you with his ex behind closed curtains.
2. its normal to appreciate physical attractiveness in others, but if your boyfriends actions make you feel insecure or unimportant – and he isnt willing to listen to your concerns, it may be a clear red flag that he is for sure not fully invested in the relationship.
3. communication is key in any relationship, especially when it comes to balancing work and personal life. if your boyfriend consistently puts work above your relationship and does not make an effort to give you more time, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship and consider whether its fulfilling your needs, which in your situation, it isnt. is he financially stable? have you guys moved in together? 2 hours is not enough, you’ll be given less time in a relationship the more it goes on according to jordan peterson. i have another friend who went out with this girl a long time ago , and they spoke from 3 pm to 3 am the first time they linked up, and theyve happily been together for over 3 years now. seems like your boyfriend doesn’t give you that type of affection. wish you the best.
Break up before the relationship goes on too long. He does not value you or your feelings