me & my boyfriend have been together a year and a bit. I lost my virginity to him and since then we’ve been having very regular sex at least 5x/week. Since about September it’s been consistently 2x/day. I love this. I have a very high sex drive & love feeling like he cant keep his hands off me.
About a week and a half ago, we got just a little sick. He said that since then, he hasn’t really felt like having sex or even masterbating, which is very rare for him. His sex drive has always been higher than mine. Since about a week and a half ago we’ve probably had sex about 5 times (instead of usual would’ve been about 20 times so even though it isn’t crazy low, it’s definitely a noticeable difference) and he’s probably initiated one of those times.
We’re both feeling totally not sick anymore, but his sex drive has not returned. It’s making me very anxious. I’ve tried talking to him about it and he’s said “nothing has changed between us,” “my body’s just not feeling it like normal, but the last time we had sex was really good,” “I don’t know what it is”. I’m so confused. I don’t know how to talk to him about it but I feel unwanted and undesirable and lonely and emotionally distant.
Has this happened to anyone? Do you think something deeper is going on?
5 comments
He’s having sex with someone else.
Perhaps just taking it slow. Start with foreplay, make it take awhile. Flirt, tease him, or be the aggressor depending on your dynamic.
Try to be positive and affirming with him. If he’s not been feeling like himself and he senses you’re anxious about it, it may be even harder for him to get back into the groove. Also keep in mind that the frequency of sex begins to slow at some point in nearly every relationship – and 2x a day every day is not sustainable! But that shift doesn’t mean there’s a problem.
So you are getting this freaked out over only having sex 5x in a week and a half when you were both sick? Just relax and take a deep breath, sex decreasing for less than 2 weeks when he’s not feeling 100% is totally normal, more normal than having sex twice a day.
It’s possible his body is still just exhausted. When I get sick it takes me along time for my body to feel back to normal and rested.