I (23F) started re-crushing on my crush (23M) from 3 years ago. So 3 years ago I had this HUGE crush on him, then the pandemic happened and we lost contact and last month, we met again. A few months into the pandemic, I had accepted that we weren’t going to work with the whole long distance thing so I moved on and had other relationships. But when I saw him again, it was like my feelings from 3 years ago never left. I had no update on his personal life whatsoever (he doesn’t post much) and I was out of touch with our common friends so I had no idea he had a girlfriend.
Last month, we were having some casual drinks with friends and I thought “this is my chance” so I dressed up. Whipped out my little black dress that made my butt look good and had a deep neckline, make up, perfume, I was all cute and I had my A-game on. I met up with our friends and hugged him first and lingered. Then I proceeded to hug our other friends quickly. Then we sat down and started talking about our lives and when it was my turn, I made sure they knew I was single and thriving and am open for something fun or something serious, which ever came along. When it was his turn to speak, he talked about how he was on the fence with this girl and my heart just dropped. They’ve only been together a short while but he said there were already so many red flags that he can’t ignore them and after our hangout tonight, he was going to decide if he’ll end it or if they’ll work on it. The ENTIRE time I was flirting and sending signals while this whole ass man was taken and was playing with the idea of breaking up with his girlfriend while I was busy playing my boobs so that they would look good for him. Obviously when I found out that he was taken, I backed off. I was kinda bummed tbh. Also worried, because I was full on flirting.
The worst part is, he DID end up breaking up with the girl and I can’t help but feel like I played a part in that. It didn’t help that our friend group shipped us too and kept saying stuff like “what if you two end up together?” “why don’t you two give it a try?” and even egging us to kiss. In the next few times that we hung out with our friends, it has been the ongoing joke that he and I were a thing and we would subtly flirt with each other. It has come to the point that he expects a hug (you can see it in his gorgeous eyes) whenever he sees me because of the first hug that day we had drinks. I still kinda like him tho but I can’t help but feel like I stole him.
TL;DR I was flirting with a guy who I didn’t know was taken and he ended up breaking up with his girlfriend because they were already in a rocky place.
Should I carry on casually flirting with him? Did I actually steal him? Could I have had something to do with their break up or am I just overthinking it?
7 comments
If he does it with you, he’ll do it to you. No, don’t continue to flirt with him.
You give yourself too much credit.
He was already on the verge of breaking up with the other girl. Most likely, it had little to do with you.
If his relationship was solid then your flirting wouldn’t have done anything.
Your friends have pretty garbage morals if they’re encouraging him to kiss you while he’s dating someone else.
Doesn’t sound like the break up had anything to do with you so stop thinking you’re that tempting or that he even likes you in that way.
However, nothing is wrong with shooting your shot. BUT if he turns you down and starts dating someone else and you actively try to break them up…well, there’s a whole lot of words to describe someone like that but they can’t be said on here.
This all seems a little odd. You wanted to flirt with him when he had a girlfriend but now seem sad now he is single? As other people have said not sure you can take any blame/ credit for the break up as he said himself it was a bit ropey.
If you like this guy why not just ask him out now he’s single? Why the games or stringing along?
What in the high school is this?
You sound like one of those people who like the thrill of the chase and not actually following through. You threw yourself at him, without finding out if he was single, then when he is single, still try flirt with him. You’re looking for an excuse to get out without being the bad guy. “OMG I WOULD NEVER BREAK UP A RELATIONSHIP. It’s not my fault I’m so hot and perfect he dumped her for me. Girl code!!!!! 🥺👉🏻👈🏻”